


I Don't Hate You (That Much)

by linocaffe



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Kid Fic, M/M, because i'm a big multi, peep the izone and the boyz and loona cameos, side 2min if you have eagle eyes and squint a lot, side BinSung
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:41:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27735511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/linocaffe/pseuds/linocaffe
Summary: Felix swore he was patient. He really was. But living with Hyunjin was proving to be too challenging even for him.Let’s start with leaving all of his clothes around the room, making noise in the middle of the night because he decided to make a whole dinner for himself, he was constantly leaving every light in the dorm on even after he left the room, taking too long showering, leaving the toothpaste’s cap off, opening the windows when it’s freezing, closing them when it’s too hot, forgetting to take the clothes to the laundry, and many more other things that drove Felix absolutely crazy.Every day and every night it was dealing with these mildly annoying inconveniences, that when you piled them up together, were way more than mildly annoying. Hwang Hyunjin made him go out of his mind.In more ways than he expected apparently.
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin/Lee Felix
Comments: 12
Kudos: 122
Collections: Hyunfest 2020





	I Don't Hate You (That Much)

**Author's Note:**

> Very un-betaed, so if there's a lot of nonsense it's because of that haha sorry!

Felix swore he was patient. He really was. But when you were woken up in the middle of the night, the fourth time in a row, by the persistent sound of the microwave, there were only so many people that wouldn’t completely lose their shit.

He gritted his teeth and tried to go back to sleep to no avail, as he could still hear his roommate banging cabinets and smashing dishes on the sink. He knew he wasn’t purposely doing it, his roommate was just clumsy and not delicate when dealing with objects. But still, it made him want to punch the wall, only to not punch him.

The one thing that Felix asked himself was why the _fuck_ was he making food at three in the morning?

This was not a one time occurrence, by the way. He had been rooming with Hwang Hyunjin since the beginning of freshman year, about five months ago, and in that time he had woken up in the middle of the night way more times than in the rest of his life. He also never thought that he would come to hate the beeping of the microwave so much. Was it that hard to stop it before it blasted so loudly?

It wasn’t that Hyunjin wasn’t aware of Felix’s discomfort. Oh no, he sure was. Felix had — very passively-aggressively might we add — asked the other to not make that much noise at night. He knew Felix was a light sleeper and the walls of their dorm were very thin and it was easy for sounds to pierce through. Hyunjin always apologized and said he’ll try to be more quiet next time, but what for? Night would come and once again, that god damned microwave would bleep like there was no tomorrow, waking Felix up from his sweet, cherished sleep. He would’ve honestly thrown that thing out of the window already if it wasn’t for the fact that they needed it.

It wasn’t the only thing that our beloved Hwang Hyunjin tended to do that made Felix want to pull at his hair.

Let’s start with leaving all of his clothes around the room. No, not just the room, in the whole dorm. Hyunjin was very interested in fashion and had an extensive wardrobe that could barely fit in the cabinets and hangers they had; and on top of that, he insisted in throwing all of his stuff everywhere. Felix especially hates when he finds the other’s clothes on top or below his bed. Did he not know the boundaries of his own personal space? If only this dorm had two separate bedrooms; but no, to Felix’s luck he had to get the weird apartment with a big room for two instead of two small ones. 

He constantly left every light in the dorm on even after he left the room, took too long showering, would leave the toothpaste’s cap off, kept forgetting stuff when he went to class and ended up asking Felix to bring it over, beside the microwave sound he also had to deal with the noise of him also playing video games long into the night with his friends (who actually were Jeongin’s and Jisung’s roommates interestingly enough, but according to them never made much noise at all), opening the windows when it’s freezing, closing them when it’s too hot, forget to take the clothes to the laundry, and many more other things that drove Felix absolutely crazy.

Every day and every night it was dealing with these mildly annoying inconveniences, that when you piled them up together, were way more than mildly annoying.

His head was starting to pound and it wasn’t even eight in the morning yet, but he guessed those were the side effects of not sleeping properly. 

He spotted his best friend sitting on a table near the window of the café and slumped on the chair opposite to him.

“You look like shit.” Jisung greeted him.

“Thank you, you are very kind.”

“You’re welcome!” He was being cheerful to make fun of him, Felix was sure. “Late night studying or is it our dearest roommate?”

“Don’t even mention him please.” His head was really starting to pound now. “God I need a coffee...or five.”

“What did he do this time?” 

“You know, I would like to know too. So much clashing sometimes makes me wonder.”

Jisung barked a laugh that earned him a look from a passerby.

“No, he genuinely makes a whole dinner for himself in the middle of the night. I’ve seen him. And it’s fine, he can eat whatever he likes whenever he wants, but my question is why does he have to be so _loud_?” He groaned.

“Here we go…”

“Out of all the people in this university, why did I have to room with _him_? Seriously, you don’t have problems with your roommate, Jeongin’s roommate is basically perfect, even Minho hyung’s roommate who he keeps saying he can’t stand but we all know he actually loves.” 

“Think about it. It could be worse.” It was a lot like Jisung being positive and trying to find the good side of everything. It was usually either that or he just didn’t care about stuff.

“Yeah...That doesn’t help.” He banged his head on the table. “Ow.”

“Ok, then think on the positive side.” 

Felix knew where this was going. 

“If you’re going to talk about ‘eye candy’ again then I don’t wanna hear it.”

“But am I lying? I think we can agree he’s handsome.”  
  
“He’s okay, but that doesn’t make up for how annoying he is.” He frowned. “I would rather have an ugly rat for a roommate than him.”

“Aren’t rats also very noisy?” Jisung pointed out.

“Oh god, you’re right.”

His best friend's eyes lit up with an idea. “Maybe he’s a rat!”

“Han Jisung.” Felix closed his eyes and pressed the space between his eyebrows.

“What?”

“I don’t have the brain to deal with nonsense today.”

“You were the one who started the rat thing!” Jisung complained. 

“Just get me a coffee please.” He said before letting his head fall back on the table with a loud thud.

  
  


\------------

  
  


Felix was exhausted and annoyed and those weren't good by themselves, much less as a combination, and much less on the day he started his volunteering program. 

He had been so eager about it for the last few weeks ever since he signed up for it. He'd always wanted to volunteer with kids but an opportunity had never presented before. This semester he finally had the perfect excuse, as volunteering on something was part of his school program.

He chose the ‘Bloom Bloomiz’ center out of the long list of kid centers that were involved in these kinds of programs. It was closer to his dorm and university, and the place seemed really nice and bright. He had scheduled a meeting with the center’s director, a young woman named Eunbi, and upon meeting her he had liked her a lot. She was kind and cheerful and seemed to have a natural talent with kids. 

Felix’s plan was that if he was comfortable enough with the place, he would carry on volunteering even after this school period was over. Eunbi had told him there were two other students from his university who were regulars here and had been volunteering for a while now. One his age and one a bit older who was currently in his senior year; both had been volunteering since they started school. Felix was eager to meet them, as he would be working with them for this. He was also very eager to meet the kids. He had only seen them on passing when he came here the first time, and they all looked adorable even from afar.

He arrived at the place, a pink building with blue and yellow flowers painted all over the walls. Two sakura trees framed the entrance, they were almost leafless since spring was still not fully there yet, which gave the place an eerie feeling, but not in a bad way. There was a stone pathway all the way to the door, and the bushes surrounding it rustled with the wind. 

As soon as he stepped inside, a warmth surrounded him. He hadn't noticed how chill the air still was in the morning. He went over to the reception desk where a young woman a bit older than him was sitting reading some papers. 

“Hi, I'm Lee Felix. I came here for the volunteer program.” He introduced himself.

“Felix! Yes hi, welcome! First day today right?” She asked. Her voice was light and friendly. Her short hair moved as she animatedly talked.

“That's right.” He laughed shyly and scratched the back of his neck. Nervousness was catching up to him again. Even if he had been eager to do this, he was still worried if he would get along with the kids. What if they hated him? That would be really sad, he really, really hoped they liked him. 

“Good! Don't be nervous!” Was he being too obvious or was she good at reading people? “You will do great, I can tell. I read your application and you seem like a kind and responsible guy. Also our kids are sweethearts, they'll love you, you'll see.” She smiled big and Felix tried to relax and smiled back. 

The girl stood up and rounded the desk until she stood in front of him and surprised him by extending her hand. “My name is Haseul!” Felix took her hand, she had a firm and strong handshake. Way stronger than what she looked like, since she wasn't very tall at all. “It's a pleasure to have you here! Come, follow me. No need to postpone this further, let's meet the kids!” With that she turned around and walked to the right, further into the place. 

The director's office had been to the other side, so this whole section was very new to Felix. There were a lot of rooms one after the other, Haseul explained what each of them were — some play rooms, classrooms, a whole section with the kid's bedrooms, an open area with tables near the kitchen for the kids to eat. Felix's favorite place however, had been the playground at the center of the building. There was no rooftop on top there, and another sakura tree stood tall in the middle of it. The place was decorated with all kinds of plants and there were swings, slides, and fun stuff he knew would have loved as a kid. 

“The kids from your group are in their art class right now. Sangyeon is our volunteer in charge of that, you'll be working with him from now on!” Haseul seemed so excited Felix couldn't help but feel it too. “After this is music time, you'll work with our volunteer for that too, his name is–” 

“Hello!!” Before arriving at wherever the art room was, a kid had sprinted out running from a room from their left, and had stopped just in front of them, looking up with big curious puppy eyes. “Who are you?” 

“Eric, come back!” A head popped out of the door the boy had just come from, clearly worried about the kid that left but not wanting to leave the others alone. The guy's eyes fell on Haseul and he immediately relaxed, reassured the boy wasn't going anywhere by himself now. 

“Eric, what have we said about leaving classes without your hyungs and noonas?” Haseul crossed her arms looking down on the little kid. 

“But–but Sunwoo said there were fairies on the Kku tree and I said there weren't and then Kku said there were and that she was a fairy and that Kku trees had many fairies but I said she's too big to be one they are small like my hand and Sunwoo said she was right but I never see any fairies so I said there were not and Yuri also said there isn't but they said there were and I think they are lying but I wanted to see the fairies so I ran to the fairies.” He said the whole thing almost in one breath and Felix was impressed, the kid was practically rapping. 

“Still! You need to wait for Sangyeon hyung to go with you! No going out alone, okay?” She patted his head softly. 

“Sorry, noona.” He seemed genuinely regretful at having disappointed her, but a second later his puppy eyes were back and were now looking at Felix again. “Who are you?” He repeated. “I'm Eric! 

Felix couldn't help but giggle. The kid was too adorable. “Hi, Eric. I’m Felix!”

“Are you a fairy from the Kkura tree? You look like one.”

“Maybe…” He said playfully and winked.

“Eric, Felix is a new hyung who will be with us from now on.” Haseul explained.

“New hyung?” He looked back to the other male who was still standing on the door. “A hyung like Sangyeon hyung?”

“Yes, exactly like that.”

In the blink of an eye, Eric closed the distance between him and Felix. The older just felt something crash with his legs and then Eric was hugging him, puppy eyes looking excitedly at him. “Yay! New hyung!” He exclaimed while jumping up and down, still hugging Felix’s legs.

All of Felix’s nervousness and exhaustion suddenly evaporated upon meeting the kids. Sangyeon welcomed him kindly and introduced him to his group composed of about twenty one kids. Everyone had voiced their excitement of having a new hyung and oppa, just like little Eric had. He finally felt completely relaxed, he had been so nervous about the children not liking him, but after receiving the warmest welcome he could expect, he felt nothing but joy.

He ended up sitting beside a little girl named Chaewon and a boy named Chanhee for the rest of the period. The boy was quietly drawing little penguins at first, but after a few minutes he asked him if he liked penguins, Felix had told him he did, so little Chanhee had started reciting facts about the animals that not even Felix knew about. Chaewon on the other hand, had been drawing princesses from fairy tales the whole time, at some point even getting into an argument with the girl next to her — who’s name was Yena– , about who qualified as a princess and who didn’t.

“Felix oppa!” Yena exclaimed, looking a little tearful. “Is Alice not a princess? I want Alice to be one, she’s my favorite.”

“She’s not!” Chaewon argued.

Felix pondered over how to answer for a second. He didn’t want to make any of the girls upset. “I think anyone can become a princess if they wish to.”

The boy beside Chanhee, who had been silently listening to the whole conversation suddenly perked up. “Even me?”

“Sure! Why not?” Felix shrugged and smiled at him, who beamed at his hyung’s answer. 

“Yay! I’ll draw Princess Kevin!” Chaewon exclaimed and started to work on it. 

The argument was finally settled, and each of the kids were focused on their own drawings. Most of them were very well behaved and Felix was incredibly impressed how well they listened to him and their other hyung. After an hour, Sangyeon announced that art time was over, and that they should walk over to the dance studio for their music time.

Two kids practically raced to the door, positioning themselves first in line.

“Hey, be careful! Let’s go slowly so we don’t harm ourselves and others please!” Sangyeon announced to the room, then he turned to Felix. “Changmin and Chaeyeon love this class more than anything. They are super good at it too. I heard you know a bit of dance too?”

“I used to go to dance classes when I was in high school.”

“Oh, cool! Our dance volunteer also took dance in high school, he–” Sangyeon was stopped by an altercation taking place on the line. “Hey, no pushing! Kids, you know your places, there’s no need to push!” He left Felix’s side to restore the order, and then started leading the group out of the class. 

Since Haseul had shown him the place already, Felix stayed for the class for a few minutes to help clean some of the stuff the kids had spilled and to place the art supplies back in their boxes and cases before going to the next room. About five minutes later Sangyeon came back.

“I’ll finish here, don’t worry, go with the kids.”

Felix thanked him and walked to the door. Before he left the room Sangyeon called him again. 

“You did a good job today.” He said with a smile.

Felix bowed and thanked him one more time before leaving the room for next class.

Now. Everything had been going so nicely so far, he should have expected something like this to happen at some point of the day. All the energy recharge he had gotten from the kids was suddenly drained and his headache threatened to come back the moment he stepped inside the dance room.

“Hyunjin?” His jaw almost dropped and his face fell. He instantly tried to push his features back to normal after looking at himself in the mirror.

“Felix?” Hyunjin’s back was to him but he noticed his reflection. “What are you doing here?” He turned around, and realization seemed to strike him. “Are you the new volunteer?!”

Felix was still rotted to the floor, his body turned to stone. 

Really? Here too? Could he not have a moment of peace that his annoying roommate wouldn’t disrupt?

At the end, Eric spoke for him. 

“Hyunjin hyung, Felix hyung is our new hyung!” He exclaimed while jumping up and down and clapping with his tiny hands. “Doesn’t he look like a fairy?” He tugged at Hyunjin’s hand excitedly.

Hyunjin patted his head without taking his eyes off Felix. 

“You’re the new volunteer.” Hyunjin repeated.

Felix almost rolled his eyes. He thought that had been obvious already.

“I didn’t know you volunteered.” He countered.

Hyunjin let out a chuckle that sounded kind of sarcastic to Felix, but before he could analyze it further the other boy cleared his throat and answered.

“Yeah, I’ve been doing this for a while.”

“Oh.” Felix didn’t know what else to say. He actually didn’t know much about his roommate, they never talked at all. None of their interests aligned and they had nothing in common until now.

An awkward silence had fallen, until Chaeyeon did a little twirl and Yujin tried to imitate her but her long limbs got tangled and she fell on her butt and started crying.

Hyunjin instantly went over and kneeled in front of her. He patted her shoulders and spoke softly. “Oh, Yujinie. It’s ok. Come here, do you want me to teach you how to do it?” Yujin nodded, tears still pooling in her eyes but she had stopped crying now. Hyunjin took her hands and helped her stand back up. “Chaeyeonnie, do you want to help me teach Yujinnie how to twirl?”

“Yes!!” She exclaimed excitedly and immediately demonstrated it again. 

The rest of the class went smoothly with the kids, but the tension between him and Hyunjin was palpable. Was Hyunjin as unhappy to have him here as Felix was? Felix always suspected that Hyunjin didn’t like him either, but there was never enough contact between each other for Felix to get confirmation. Most of the time they spoke was just Felix asking the other not to be noisy in the night and to pick his stuff from everywhere.

After his shift finished he couldn’t help but have mixed feelings. On one side he had loved the place and the children, just one day had been enough for him to get attached. Haseul and Sangyeon had been pretty cool too, and Felix could already tell he could easily befriend them in the future. But on the other hand, he had hoped this would turn into his safe place, to have the peace he couldn’t have in the dorm, but now that was crushed by the fact that the same person that made his dorm life stressful was also here. He was annoyed to say the least. 

\-------------------

“No way!”

“Yes way.”

“You must have the worst luck in the world.” Jisung chuckled.

Felix rolled his eyes. “Thank you. I hadn't noticed.”

“Well...At least you’ll probably be too preoccupied with the kids to have time to annoy each other.” 

“Hey! I never annoy him, he annoys me!” Felix protested.

His best friend sighed. “Lixie. You know we’ve been best friends for years, and I love you.”

“But?” There was clearly a but coming there. “But what? You’re gonna say ‘but you are annoying’, aren’t you?”

“You said it, not me.” Jisung’s hands shot up in defence. 

“Oh shut up!” He took a plushie from Jisung’s bed and threw it at him. Jisung dodged.

“Anyway. You said the kids were really sweet, that’s what really matters, right? The kids liked you, I think that’s a success.”

“Yeah, that’s true.” Felix sighed. That was the only thing keeping him sane right now. He was very happy that the kids had received him well.

“I think you’ll be alright. And if anything, I’m still here for you to come and rant.” He paused. “Because what option do I have? I’m stuck with you, unfortunately.”

Felix grabbed the pillow back and hit him again. 

\-------------

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Hyunjin answered. 

They were in the place’s cafeteria. Sangyeon had kindly prepared some seaweed soup for them, and invited both of them plus Haseul to have lunch together during lunch break. 

“I think it would be really nice for the kids.” Sangyeon said.

“Yes, I think so too. It would be fun for them and lift their mood. They would love it.”

Felix had been all in when Haseul proposed to have a picnic trip with the kids in the nearby park. He thought it would be fun. The weather was starting to get warmer, the flowers already starting to bloom. It was the perfect time to take the kids out.

However, Hyunjin…

“Yes, but–”

“What?” Felix almost snapped. He quickly recovered; he didn’t like Hyunjin but more than that, he didn’t want to have problems with him here. Even less in front of the others. However, Sangyeon was looking at him weirdly already; he cursed to himself internally for not being more controlled.

“The flowers are starting to bloom,” exactly Felix’s point, it was nice, why was Hyunjin complaining?

“That’s what makes it better. Kids love color, the park already looks really nice.” Haseul said while she had the last of her soup.

“Yeah, but…” He turned over to Sangyeon. “Jacob, Yena, Woonyoung and Nako.”

It took a second for Sangyeon to understand, but he quickly got it. “Right! Oh my god, you’re right. I totally forgot about that…”

Haseul raised her eyebrows questioningly, being just as lost in the conversation as Felix.

“Yena, Woonyoung and Nako,” Sangyeon started, “have seasonal allergies. It gets pretty bad at the beginning of spring, when flowers start to grow back.”

“Right!” Haseul murmured. 

That...made sense. Even if Felix didn’t want to admit Hyunjin had a point now.

“Also, last year we went on a trip near a flower field. It wasn’t spring so it was fine with the girls, but Jacob has a bee allergy. There were a few there and he got stung by one. It wasn’t fun, I don’t want to risk going through that again.” Sangyeon winced. Hyunjin shook his head.

“Oh, I remember hearing that story.” Haseul had been working at the center for longer than Felix, but not nearly as long as Sangyeon and Hyunjin. 

“Also, hyung, you are pretty busy this whole month, right?” Sangyeon had told them about all the stuff that he had coming up with school. “I don’t know if you could take a whole day off for this. And there’s no way only the three of us can handle all of them. We would need someone else.”

Sangyeon sighed. He was also right about that.

And so, there went the nice opportunity for a trip. 

Felix knew Hyunjin had good points. He knew. But he couldn’t help be even more annoyed at him. To Felix, it felt like Hyunjin took the fun out of everything. Call it a bias or whatever, but he really wasn’t a fan of him, and honestly, could you blame him?

He knew he was being petty, but Felix avoided Hyunjin for the rest of the day. It wasn’t a bad idea though, because he wasn’t in a good mood and he didn’t want to risk snapping at him again.

\---------------------

Felix grabbed at the wall for support.

“What the fuck?”

He looked down to the shoes he had just tripped with.

“Fucking hell, Hwang Hyunjin.” He said under his breath.

Why did his roommate have to leave everything out of place?

“What just happened? And why are you cursing out your roommate again? Be nice!” Minho’s voice said from his phone on the floor.

“I almost fell because he decided to leave his shoes outside the bathroom! Why would I be nice when I could’ve broken my nose? Or worse, my phone!” He picked it up. “Luckily it fell on top of the carpet so it wasn’t that bad.” 

“You and that roommate…” His hyung started. “You know you could really talk to him about his behaviors. He seems like a nice guy, I’m sure he would understand.”

“I _have_ talked with him about it.” Felix said through gritted teeth. 

“Making passive-aggressive comments about it is not really _talking.”_ Minho answered. “I always make sure to tell Seungmin if he does something I don’t like. And he does the same. It’s easier to reach an understanding.”

“Seungmin isn’t Hyunjin. I wished he was. You would think that being friends would make them similar, but no. They are total opposites.” He opened the top cabinet in his bathroom to find that, once again, the toothpaste had no cap on. He sighed defeatedly. “I wish Seungmin was my roommate.”

“But he’s mine. You are not taking my roommate away.”

“I thought you couldn’t stand him.” He teased. 

“True. But I like him anyway.”

“Of course you do.” Felix whispered. 

“What was that?”

“Nothing. Just...god, can’t he just leave the things the way they should be?” 

“Talk with him, Lix. I know he does things that are bothersome and it's valid to feel annoyed and frustrated by that. But I know Seungmin and he knows Hyunjin and so I know Hyunjin is not a bad person.” Huh? What kind of reasoning was that? “I feel like you have condemned him as the worst roommate ever without even giving him a chance to change.”

He wished Minho was wrong but he admitted that he had a point.

“I'm not saying you should become friends or whatever. I'm not friends with Seungmin.” 'Sure they aren’t’, Felix thought. “But at least you could both try to, I don't know, tolerate each other? If you think about it, having a roommate that's constantly glaring at you must not be fun either.” Minho joked. 

“Well whose fault is that?” Felix exclaimed. “Besides, he probably hates me too.” 

“For some reason, I doubt that.” 

\----------

Felix had been volunteering at the ‘Bloom Bloomiz’ center for two weeks now, and somehow he had managed it better than expected. ‘It’ being spending so much time next to Hyunjin. His group was managed by seven people, Felix’s schedule always matched with Sangyeon’s and Hyunjin’s, since all of them went for the morning schedule. Felix attended the center four times a week, so it was four more days of seeing Hyunjin for at least three more hours a day.

He had to admit though, that Hyunjin was sort of different from what he had expected. One of the first things he noticed and that surprised him from the other boy was he was incredibly gentle. In Felix’s defence, it was very easy to get another impression judging by the way he handled inanimate objects. But of course with the children it was very different, he should have expected that. 

There was this one time during playtime, the kids were out in the playground garden for a while. While Felix was walking around supervising he heard a little sound coming from the bottom part of one of the playground structures. He approached it and crouched down, only to find little Sakura hiding in there, sobbing while hugging her knees.

“Kku? What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” Felix tried to position himself as comfortable as possible, but there was no way he could get in there, so he just tried to settle comfortably enough so that his head was inside the space to look at the little girl for any injuries. 

Sakura shook her head but she just kept on crying.

“Come outside, let’s talk, tell me what’s wrong?” He tried to grab her hand but she just shook her head again, hid her face in between her arms and ignored him.

Hyunjin probably saw Felix sprawled on the floor and approached him to see what was going on. 

“Is everything alright?” He asked while keeling besides Felix, who incorporated himself into a sitting position. 

“I don’t know. Sakura is there crying but she doesn’t want to tell me anything. She doesn’t seem to be injured, though.” Felix answered with his brow furrowed. What could have made sweet and quiet Sakura upset? Everyone loved her so it was highly unlikely someone had been purposefully mean to her. Actually, all the kids here were like siblings and none of them would hurt each other on purpose. 

Hyunjin adopted a similar position to how Felix was before. “Kku, do you want to tell Lixie oppa and Hyunnie oppa what made you cry? Maybe we can help you.” Sakura lifted her head a little when hearing his voice. Her hair was stuck to the tears on her cheeks. “It’s ok if you don’t want to but we don’t like seeing Kkura sad, we like seeing her happy so we want to help. What made you sad?” His tone was as soft as Felix had ever heard him talk, there was genuine worry in his voice, and maybe the little girl could hear it too because she finally looked back at them.

“Chaeyeonie.” She answered in a soft whisper while sniffing her nose.

“Chaeyeonie made you sad?” The confusion in Hyunjin’s voice was obvious. Chaeyeon and Sakura absolutely loved each other, they were almost inseparable, where there was one there was the other.

Little Sakura bobbed her head assenting again. “And Jaehyunie.”

“Why did Chaeyeonie and Jaehyunie make you sad?” Felix asked.

She seemed a bit unsure and shy to speak, but she eventually looked at Hyunjin, who looked at her with soft and gentle eyes, and she told them what had happened earlier. 

“I just wanted a kiss.” She hid her head in her arms again, embarrassed.

“You wanted a kiss? From Jaehyunie?” 

“No.” She corrected him. “I wanted a kiss on the cheekie from Chaeyeonie. But Jaehyunie said that she can’t kiss me because she’s a girl and I am too. Said he heard that. So Chaeyeonie won’t give me one but she did to Younghoonie but I just wanted one.” Her eyes were big with tears again and she was pouting.

“Oh, Kku...It’s fine, Hyunjinie oppa can help you. Here.” He extended his arms, signaling for her to come out of the playground. She compiled and immediately buried her head in his shoulder, the older sweeping her up while tenderly stroking her head. 

Hyunjin had taken her to Jaehyun and Chaeyeon and had solved the whole misunderstanding, explaining that there were no restrictions to showing how you love and care for someone and that Chaeyeon could kiss in the cheek whoever she wanted if the other wished so too. In the end, Sakura had gotten what she wanted, and while they were at it, Jaehyun decided to ask for a kiss for himself, and Younghoon had happily smooched his cheek too.

Felix had been impressed by Hyunjin’s words and how he had dealt with the whole situation. Maybe he wasn’t as annoying as Felix thought, and he had to be honest, his dislike for him had dwindled a little – just a little. Even if he still woke him up in the middle of the night and made him want to scream, his irritation always lessened as soon as he saw him at the center.

That didn’t mean they were friends though. He thought about his talk with Minho, and how maybe this was what he meant by giving him a chance. He still hadn't talked with him, and he didn't know if he'd do it yet; but they got along while on the center, and now commented things about the kids sometimes back at the dorm, but besides that it was just the usual. 

Which is why the events of today’s lunch really surprised him.

Hyunjin and Felix never left the center together. Not even when both were heading to the dorms. There was no special reason, they just didn’t relate with each other much. 

After their shift ended at noon, Hyunjin had left a few minutes before him, since Felix had stayed to talk to Juyeon -other of their volunteers- about how he should keep an eye on one of the kids since the little one had expressed a bit of discomfort today and that could possibly mean he was getting sick.

Felix hadn’t had time to eat anything for breakfast besides a granola bar, so his plan was to go to one of his favorite restaurants nearby and peacefully eat there a lot because honestly, he deserved it. However, his plans were cancelled when he arrived and the place was completely packed. There wasn’t even one free table. Guess he had to order take out then.

When waiting in line to order he was looking around until a familiar face struck him. They made eye contact but both instantly averted their eyes. Guess those few extra minutes had saved Hyunjin because he had found a table to take. Felix did as if he hadn’t seen the other, and he was pretty sure Hyunjin was doing the same.

After he finally finished ordering, he was about to leave the restaurant to find someplace to eat his food — maybe the park, he didn’t want to go all the way to the dorms right now —, when he heard his name being called. He wasn’t very sure he had heard right at first, until he saw a hand shot up from a table to the left, where he had seen Hyunjin before. 

Felix checked beside him. Maybe Hyunjin was calling someone else. But after a moment realized that was kind of dumb, he had hear him say his name, right? But why was Hyunjin calling him over? Did he have to tell him something about the kids?

It was starting to get weird with Felix standing dumbly there with his takeout and Hyunjin looking at him so he decided to answer his call and approach him.

“Hi.” He didn’t know what else to say.

Hyunjin answered by picking some stuff on the table and making space for him to sit on the opposite chair. Felix stood frozen for a second before he realized Hyunjin was offering him a seat. 

“I’m almost done anyway, so you can take it.” Hyunjin shrugged and took another bite out of his burger.

Felix sat down slowly. _I guess this is better than nothing._ He got his order out of the paper bag and started to eat. He was way hungrier than he thought, and swallowed half of his sandwich in one bite.

The silence in the table wasn’t uncomfortable, but Felix thought that maybe he could do a little bit of small talk to not seem so rude. Hyunjin did help him, and could have just pretended he hadn’t seen him and let his roommate walk out of the door.

“Have you been volunteering at the center for long?”

“Hmm not at Bloomiz, no.” Hyunjin looked a bit taken aback by Felix’s voice, almost as if he hadn’t expected the other to speak. “I started a few months before the beginning of the school year.”

“Oh.” Felix was a little surprised. “You seemed like you had experience with kids before.”

“Well, I do.” The other boy answered after taking a sip of his drink. “I used to volunteer with kids when I was in high school too. I loved doing it so I decided to look for a nice center as soon as I moved here.”

Felix nodded. Both of them took some time off talking to go back to their food. Hyunjin was almost done, only a few fries left on his plate. He’ll probably leave soon.

“Sangyeon told me you did dance in high school.” He asked suddenly.

“I was in my school’s dance club for a few years.”

“I can tell. Your moves are clean, you have good bases.”

Felix had not seen that compliment coming.

“You can tell that from a few basic dance classes we do for children?”

“I also took dance in high school. Been doing it since I was five actually.” Hyunjin shrugged disemisivly. It seemed like he didn’t want to sound stuck up, just wanted to assure him he had enough dance background to easily tell when someone was good.

“I guess you can tell which of the kids are going to be dancers in the future.” 

Hyunjin chuckled. “Well, anyone can tell Changmin and Chayeon are going to be amazing. But I can see Jaehyun, Hitomi, Hacknyeon and Yena being really good at it too. I’ve actually been trying to get Hitomi into ballet lately, I think the style suits her.”

“What about you? What styles did you use to practice?” Felix didn’t know the curiosity had come from, but suddenly he wanted to know a bit more about his roommate. He thought about his conversation with Minho again. Up until now, he had thought they had nothing in common and he had been wrong. Twice. But honestly how would they know about it if they never talked.

“I mainly did hip hop and contemporary, but I like just about anything.”

“Oh, me too!” Felix totally related.

“Do you still dance?” Hyunjin asked. 

“Not really. I still do it by myself once in a while, but definitely not as much as I did in high school. Do you?”

Hyunjin shook his head. “Actually, no. I planned on joining a dance crew when I came here but between school and volunteering I don’t have much free time left. I do miss it a lot, but volunteering is more important for me.”

“You seem really into it though, what made you choose another career over it?” That reminded him of something. “Actually, what do you major in? I don’t even know that…” He did feel a little bad for not even knowing something as important as that. He feels like he should’ve at least checked the other’s books those times he had to drop them at his classes when he forgot them in the dorm.

“Child psychology.” Hyunjin answered with a smile. 

_No wonder_ , he thought. “Ohhh, that makes so much sense! That’s why you’re prioritizing volunteering.”

“Right.” He nodded. 

“It would be nice if you could dance again. I mean, I could tell you really love it. Maybe practice at night since you are always awake anyway.” Felix joked.

Hyunjin let out a loud chuckle. “Oh that’s right!” He looked surprised for a second, but then he laughed it off again. “That’s why my sleep schedule is so fucked up! I used to practice a lot at night. Could barely wake up for school the next morning because I was so tired. My mom would scold me all the time for falling asleep at school but also for making so much noise and waking her up.”

Felix winced. “I know exactly what it feels like.” 

“I’m so sorry! I swear I don’t do it on purpose!” He hid his face in his hands.

“I know. But I’ll be honest, at first I thought you did.”

“I don’t, really. I tried my best but I’m...a little clumsy...I also forget you’re there sometimes. I forgot we were roommates just now until you mentioned it. We just never...talk. I’m sorry.” He looked really embarrassed and regretful, Felix felt kind of bad.

Well, that was a first.

“Sometimes I wish I could forget too…But it’s ok, I really do know you don’t do it on purpose. I just wish you could stop the microcrave before the time is up.” He said it lightly but he was only half joking. The other side of him was practically begging.

“You would be surprised how hard that is. I swear I try but unless I stay the whole time in front of it then I’m never on time.”

“I should try it sometime. Maybe even fail a few tries on purpose. See how it feels on the other side.” Felix smirked and Hyunjin chuckled.

“Maybe you should.” He agreed with a smile.

Felix took the last bite of his food. And that was when he truly noticed that Hyunjin’s food had been long gone. He had expected him to leave as soon as he finished it, but that had been more than a few minutes ago, and the boy was still here. Felix was also planning to leave when his lunch was over, but he found himself staying.

\--------------------

He loved how joyful and energized the kids were, however on days like these, where for some reason they all seemed to share their stupidly high levels of energy, he loved them the most when they were asleep.

Luckily, the kids also loved nap time a lot, so it only took Felix and Hyunjin a few minutes to get them all tucked in their little beds and not that much longer since they were fast asleep.

After making another round around the blankets to check they were truly asleep, he joined Hyunjin who was sitting on a corner of the room.

“Do I look like that when I complain to you about the noise?” Felix pointed out.

“What?” Hyunjin looked up at him, and his brow relaxed a little.

“You look like you want to murder someone.” He sat down beside the other volunteer.

“Do you want to murder me when I’m being noisy?” 

“Sometimes…” He admitted lightheartedly. Hyunjin laughed softly. “What are you studying?” Felix asked, looking at the book open over Hyunjin’s legs.

“Chemistry. But I legitimately can’t understand anything. Doesn’t help that my professor is not good at explaining either. ” He looked down at the book again and instantly groaned. “God I hate this subject.”

“Can I see? I’m pretty good at chem, maybe I can help.” Hyunjin handed him the book and Felix eyed the pages. He recognized the topic easily. “Oh yeah, I know this.”

Felix then proceeded to explain the contents to Hyunjin, who at the beginning only made exasperated tiny noises since he still had no idea what Felix was talking about. He had to backtrack to explain a few other concepts, and until those were finally clear, he moved back to the main topic the other boy was trying to understand. Now with the basic concepts clear, Felix could clearly see the change in Hyunjin’s expression, and he couldn’t help but laugh when Hyunjin whispered “oh my god” with wide open eyes after he finally understood the topic perfectly. 

“Felix, you’re a genius!” He exclaimed.

“I am not, you just have a terrible professor.”

However Hyunjin kept insisting, and even offered to repay him.

“Just let me sleep peacefully for a week and we’re even.”

The words came out of his mouth before he could think about them. It was such an unexpected answer that made Hyunjin bark a laugh, and Felix had to shush him before he woke the kids up, but truth was, he was giggling too.

Their shift ended soon enough, and Vivi – who was actually the volunteer for another hour but was covering for Sangyeon, who had some important meeting – came with Haseul who usually took this shift with Sangyeon too.

A few things had changed in the span of the last two weeks, ever since that day Felix and Hyunjin had lunch together. For one, they talked a lot more in the dorms; even had gone as far as to have breakfast together a few times. And two, they now left the center together.

Felix was leading the way, walking in the direction of the dorm buildings, when he suddenly felt Hyunjin stop abruptly on his tracks.

“Let me repay you.”

Felix turned around. “What?”

“For helping me.”

He shook his head. “Oh, you don’t need to.”

“But I want to. Let me buy you something.” Hyunjin said, almost pouting. 

“Hyunjin, you really don’t have to.” Felix insisted. 

“What would you like to eat? Even if you don’t want to go now I’ll order it in the dorms.”

Felix sighed. He could tell Hyunjin wasn’t going to back away on this; and honestly free food didn’t sound so bad. So he accepted.

Twenty minutes later he’s in the nearby park, sitting on a bench, enjoying an ice cream with none other than Hwang Hyunjin. His own self from a month ago would be laughing at him right now. He could barely stand him in the dorm and at the center. Spending his free time with him? No way. But Felix had been finding himself doing a lot of things that past him would be disapproving of lately.

One of them was thinking ‘Jisung had been kind of right, he _is_ handsome’ when looking at Hyunjin. 

The thought surprised him to the point he almost choked on his ice cream.

“All good there?” Hyunjin looked at him concerned. Felix nodded and calmed down.

On Felix’s defence, the evening sun was at an exact angle that illuminated Hyunjin’s face and gave him a certain angel-like aura. His dark hair looked much lighter under the light, and Felix realized that what he had previously thought was black, was actually a dark chocolate brown. His skin looked more tanned, and his lips were swollen because of the cold ice cream.

He looked away feeling a little embarrassed about his thoughts; even though there was nothing wrong in thinking Hyunjin was handsome. He still felt his cheeks burn a little, and he turned his face to the other side, trying to hide the blush. It was nothing really; he just thought he was good looking, that was fine — not that he would ever admit that but...

He wondered how many more things would change. 

He didn’t know yet, but he would be surprised.

\---------------------------

Since Vivi had helped Sangyeon with his shift a few days ago, she now needed some to take over hers, so Felix had volunteered. The shift was from two to four, only two hours, so Felix had expected to stay here for a short time. However when on his way out, he stopped for a moment to greet Haseul, who hadn’t arrived yet when he came in earlier. 

While talking with her, she commented on how there were a few things to set up for a small upcoming event the center always did. Felix was pretty much free since he had finished all his school assignments for the next few days, so he thought there was no harm in staying to help.

What he did for most of the afternoon was hanging up and pinning decorations along the walls, ceiling, and playground of the place. He even made some extra decorations. Haseul had actually asked him to hang the ones that were already made, but since he was already here and he had so much free time he thought that it would be a waste if he didn’t use the opportunity to help. Besides, Felix had always liked to do this kind of artsy manual stuff. 

He finished making and putting everything up around seven, and he went back over to the storage room and the art room to put back the stuff he had used and wasn’t needing anymore. On his way back, he walked by the dance room, where music was blasting from inside and he could see a figure moving through the windows.

He stopped over by the doors, one of them was wide open and he could see who was inside.

Hyunjin wasn’t kidding when he said he had experience in dancing. He could tell the way he moved wasn’t that of a beginner. His movements were clean and powerful, his angles were precise and his whole body was coordinated. 

His movements were so controlled and sharp Felix found himself drawn in by his dance. He stood there for a few minutes until the song ended. Hyunjin looked up and saw him reflected on the mirror.

“Oh, hi.”

“Hi, sorry I was looking like a creep standing here.” Felix scratched the back of his neck. 

“Not at all!” Hyunjin turned to face him. Felix remembered the first time he had seen him here, the day he had started volunteering. He had been so annoyed and mad about it. Interesting how he couldn’t bring himself to feel the same right now.

“You’re really good.”

“Thanks…” His checks tinted lightly in pink, feeling shy about the compliment.

“Are you dancing again?” Felix walked into the room.

“Only a little? Eunbi noona asked me about my dancing and she offered to let me use the dance room a few nights a week.” He cocked his head, suddenly confused. “What are you doing here at this hour anyway? Wait, you don’t usually come on Fridays, do you?”

“I was covering for Vivi noona and then stayed to put up the spring decorations.” Felix explained.

“Oh, I was going to do that tomorrow.”

He shrugged. “Well, now you don’t have to.”

“Oh...thanks.” Hyunjin smiled. After a pause he said “Are you leaving now?”

“I guess…” There was really no point in staying. He didn’t have anything else to do.

“How long has it been since the last time you danced?” Hyunjin asked, out of nowhere.

It took him a little bit by surprise. “Hmm, like a couple of months or so?”

“C’mon.” Hyunjin turned around and went over to play the music again.

“What?” Felix looked at him, a little lost.

Hyunjin just turned back to him and smiled. “Let’s dance!”

\---------------   
  


“Changbin-ah! You almost gave me a heart attack, do you want to kill me?!”

Felix and Hyunjin had been walking side to side back to their dorm. They had danced for a while; Felix had to admit, it had been fun. He had missed dance more than he realized. Way more. And dancing with Hyunjin — who was definitely a pro — had brought back his competitive side from high school.

Hyunjin had been nice. He had taught him a choreography he had recently learned, and even though Felix had been a little rusty at first, Hyunjin had patiently helped him and showed him how to clean his angles and make his moves more fluid again.

After about an hour, both had been too tired to keep going, and it was late at night already, so they decided to call it a day. They had been going to their building and it was then that Changbin joined them. Jumped on Hyunjin from behind, scaring the living hell out of him. And of Felix too.

“Hey, you’re not answering my messages! Are you ignoring me?” Changbin complained, still one arm hooked around his friend’s shoulders.

“I haven’t checked my phone recently.” Hyunjin answered, trying not to get dragged down by Changbin’s weight on his shoulders, since Changbin was way smaller than him.

“Oh, hi Felix.” As soon as he noticed the other he greeted and waved.

Felix waved back. “Hey.”

He turned back to Hyunjin. “Ew, why are you all sweaty?” He finally let his friend go, making a disgusted face.

“I was dancing.” The tallest boy answered and rolled his eyes.

“Oh! With Felix?” Changbin looked at him sideways, and his eyebrows shot up. Felix knew his expression meant he was surprised. If someone knew about Felix’s and Hyunjin’s troublesome relationship besides Jisung, it was Changbin. He was probably shocked to see them spending time together. 

“Yep.”

Changbin turned over to Felix again. “He’s cool, right?”

He nodded. “He is. He’s really good.”

“He’s the best.” He pinched Hyunjin’s cheek, which made the other boy wince and swat his hand away. It was all clearly playful though. “Anyway, I need to talk to you later so stop ignoring me and answer my texts.” To Felix’s surprise, Changbin then tiptoed and planted a loud kiss on Hyunjin’s cheek. “Or call me!” He said this already walking away backwards, throwing his friend a wink.

Hyunjin made a disgusted expression but he let out a small laugh.

Felix didn’t say anything then, but a thought came to his mind. He wondered…

Since the center was pretty close to their apartment, they didn’t last too long to arrive. As soon as he arrived, Felix went straight to the bathroom first, before Hyunjin took his place and took forty minutes to shower. Felix was so tired he felt like he could fall asleep at any time; he didn’t want to go to bed all sweaty.

After his quick shower he jumped on a pair of sweatpants and a comfy shirt. He dried his hair in his room while Hyunjin took over the bathroom for his shower. 

To Felix’s surprise, Hyunjin was out of it pretty quickly, and he finds him sitting on the living room couch, already on his comfy clothes watching tv when he comes out of his room. 

“That show is so dumb.” Hyunjin complains.

He knows what is playing on the tv. It is a dumb show. “I know right!”

However none of them left. Felix took a seat beside him on the couch and kept watching the dumb show until one of them spoke.

“So...you and Changbin…” Felix starts, finally voicing the thought he had earlier. Hyunjin looks over at him to show that he’s listening. “Are you like...together?”

“Are we–” Hyunjin freezes for a second and then his eyes go wide. “Wait, you didn’t know either?!” He asks incredulously. 

“Know what? That you are dating? Why would I?” Felix is confused.

“No! Oh my god! I thought you knew I can’t believe neither of them told us!”

“What?” 

He turns his body to face the other completely now. “I’m not dating Changbin. Because he’s dating someone else.” He pauses. “Well no, that’s not the reason I’m not dating Changbin. It’s because I don’t like him like that.”

“Oh?” Yeah, Felix is really confused now.

“My point is, he’s dating someone else, apparently. You don’t know who? Are you sure?” His eyes are still wide and he looks like he’s about to laugh.

“Why would I know?” He’s not friends with Changbin and can’t see why his dating life would be part of his knowledge.

“Because it’s Jisung!” He finally reveals.

Felix's brain stops for what feels like an hour to him. “Jisung?!”, is the only thing he can say.

“Yes!”

“ _My_ Jisung? Han Jisung?” He knows it’s clear that’s the Jisung Hyunjin is talking about; but his brain still refuses to react any other way.

“Yes!” Hyunjin laughs. “Well, I’m not exactly sure if they are dating actually, I just know they have a thing.”

“How do you know?” No way. Felix can’t believe what he’s hearing.

He makes a face. “You know, there’s disturbing things, and then there’s finding your best friend making out in the bathroom after you just woke up from a nap.”

“You didn’t!” Felix’s eyes open wide and a hand flies to his mouth.

“I wish I didn’t…” Hyunjin sighs, still wincing.

Felix is pretty sure he spent the next minute with his jaw hanging and a shocked look on his face. He closed his jaw after he came back to his senses.

“Man...I can’t believe Jisung didn’t tell me.”

“Yeah, Changbin didn’t tell me either. They don’t even seem to want to keep it a secret, they just seem to not talk about it because I think not even they know what goes on between them. But something goes between them, believe me.” Hyunjin made a face and shuddered, which made Felix giggle.

“I wonder for how long has this been happening. ” Felix knew Changbin and Jisung knew each other — of course, they were roommates — and that they spend their time together sometimes. But this? He would be totally lying if he said that he saw it coming.

“I don’t know, I found out just yesterday. I’m pretty sure that’s what Changbin wanted to talk to me about. They didn’t even say much when I ran out of Bin’s dorm. It was too much of a shock.”

“God, I wouldn’t want to be you.”

“Tell me about it!” Hyunjin screamed and laughed. “I was just taking my nap at his room like I usually do everyday, then I woke up, made my way to the bathroom, and had the traumatic experience of finding my best friend shoving his tongue down your best friend’s throat.” He grabs both sides of his head in his hands. “I need that image out of my mind!” 

Felix laughed out loud. He definitely would not like to experience that. 

Something that the other boy had mentioned had made him stop to think.

“Is that where you disappear to?”

“What?” The sudden change of topic made Hyunjin confused.

“You leave the dorm and come back every day around the same time. You go to Changbin’s dorm?” Felix had noticed this more than once. 

“Ah, you noticed...Yeah, I do.” He scratched the back of his neck.

“To sleep? Why not sleep here?”

“I…” He bit his lip, thinking over what he was about to say. “I know I bother you a lot at night when you are trying to sleep, I would be an asshole if I bothered you around the time you study and do school work too. I know you need to focus.”

“Oh.” That was not what Felix was expecting at all. “But...how would you bother me if you are asleep?”

“This is sort of embarrassing but...I sleep talk. A lot. I actually find it interesting that you still haven’t noticed. That seems to be the only noisy thing I do that doesn’t wake you up, I don’t know why.” 

Sleep talk? No, he really never heard Hyunjin talking in his sleep. That was as new as Jisung’s dating news.

“But you could ask me to study here while you sleep in the room. Why did you never do that? Why go all the way to Changbin’s dorm.” He asked, confused.

“I really did not want to bother you. I know you switch between studying here or in our room depending on your mood. Changbin is not usually in his dorm at that hour anyway.” Hyunjin shrugged. “So I really didn’t want to bother. I already do it too much. I didn’t...want to make you hate me more.”

How did Hyunjin know that Felix did that? He had no idea. But he was impressed at how considerate his roommate had been without him even knowing. There was really a lot he didn’t know about Hwang Hyunjin.

“I don’t hate you.” He admitted.

“Really? Sometimes I seriously think–”

“I don’t. Really.” Felix cut him off.

“Oh, ok. That’s good.” His body visibly relaxed a little; he seemed to be genuinely relieved.

Felix thought about that one conversation with Minho. He hadn’t really taken his advice yet, but Felix knew Minho was totally right. Even more now, that Felix was starting to feel much more comfortable and familiar with the other boy, and he realized that Minho was also right on that; Hyunjin was a really good guy.

Felix took a deep breath.

“Though I can not say that I get exasperated with you sometimes”

Hyunjin looked at his hands. “I know–I know I’m not the best roommate. And I’m sorry for that.” He looked up at Felix again but looked back down quickly, maybe fearing his reaction. “I know I’m messy and loud and clumsy. But I try my best, I–I try to be better. And I’m seriously really sorry. I understand why you feel that way and why you might not like me.” He was nervously picking at his pant’s fabric. 

Felix knew he was being as honest as he could, and that he truly was sorry. Part of him regretted bringin it up and making Hyunjin clearly upset. But the other side of him, the one that woke up in the middle of the night or tripped with misplaced things, that part was glad he brought it up. _Easier to reach an understanding_ , Minho had said.

He also had to admit it had gotten a little better the last few weeks. He didn’t wake up _as often_ and the side of his room had remained clean — even if Hyunjin’s was a mess.

“It's not that I don't like you. It's just–It’s alright.” Felix nodded. “As long as you keep trying. I appreciate that.” 

He couldn’t say he was fine with Hyunjin’s behaviors, but he was trying to be more understanding now. Hyunjin had surprised him time and time again. Felix had made the mistake before to judge him too soon before really knowing anything about him. 

And it was also true that it wasn't that he didn't like him. Hyunjin wasn't his favorite person in the world, but he was sweet and easy to talk to, which made Felix feel comfortable around him.

Hyunjin nodded, still looking a little down, and still not looking at him in the eyes.

They didn’t talk after that. The TV was still on with that stupid show playing but he was not paying attention honestly. Felix’s mind was running around, going over so many things at once. First, the fact that Hyunjin seemed to genuinely think he hated him. He had answered truthfully. Maybe he would have doubted it a month ago. He used to strongly dislike Hyunjin back then, but now he didn’t. It’s interesting, how your perception of someone can change so drastically in such a short amount of time. But he definitely did not dislike him, much less hate him. When he tried to think exactly how he currently felt about Hyunjin however, his mind couldn’t settle on a thought and he started to feel confused, so he decided to stop thinking about it.

Intead, the thought of Jisung and Changbin being together came to his mind again. A mental image he certainly didn’t want popped in his head. He mirrored Hyunjin’s reaction earlier and shuddered. He turned to his friend to make fun of the other too, but then noticed that Hyunjin’s eyelids were closed. 

“Hyunjin?”

There was no answer. Yeah, he was asleep. 

It was barely eight; Felix knew Hyunjin’s sleep schedule was totally messed up, he usually could not sleep this early at night, so it was quite surprising he was already out. He must have been very tired.

Felix stood up, trying to make the minimum amount of sounds not to wake the other up. He went to their room and got Hyunjin’s thin blanket from his bed. He went back to the living room, his friend had seemed to feel he was gone and had stretched on the couch, his long legs taking most of the room. Felix threw the blanket over him and adjusted it over his body. 

For a second he feared having woken him up because Hyunjin made a sound. 

“Sorry...No, I’m not...”

Ah, that was the sleep talking.

He realized he truly had never seen Hyunjin asleep. He went to bed later than Felix and was usually up earlier. He looked much...younger. Innocent. It reminded him of the peaceful look the kids had when they were asleep.

Felix finished adjusting the blanket, and very carefully and softly, lifted the other’s head and positioned one of the couch’s cushions underneath it before letting it fall down slowly again.

“Lix...no...sorry.” Hyunjin’s eyes were still closed. His brow furrowed for a second before it relaxed again.

Lix? Was he talking about him? 

He moved his hand in front of the boy’s face to make sure he was asleep. Yeah, no response, he still was. But why was his friend talking about him in his sleep? Maybe he will ask him about it in the morning.

Felix went back to his room, he will also be going to bed soon, shift was early tomorrow. He picked up his phone and was checking his new messages when he came to a sudden realization. The shift between his and Hyunjin’s relationship had been bigger than he expected, since he realized that in his mind, Hyunjin was really starting to feel like a friend.

\-------------------------  
  


Felix was woken up this time by a very different reason than usual. This time it wasn’t because of his roommate's hunger, it was because of his.

His stomach growled loudly; he remembered that he hadn’t eaten anything since lunch. He usually eats something for dinner around eight, but in between staying late at the center dancing and talking with Hyunjin, he had totally forgotten. His stomach hadn't however, and was now strongly complaining about his forgetfulness.

Since he knew there was no way he was going to be able to fall back asleep with his stomach grumbling like this, he decided the best course of action to take was to pull a Hyunjin: eat at three in the morning.

Thinking about Hyunjin he looked over to the other side of the room where his bed was, only to find it empty. Likely he was still asleep on the couch, which Felix confirmed a few seconds later when he exited his room. He hadn’t moved much since he last saw him.

Felix looked in the pantry and settled on an instant ramen since it was fast and easy. He wanted to go back to sleep as soon as he could, and cooking anything else would take too long.

He looked over at Hyunjin’s asleep figure again. The roles had changed for the first time. Felix couldn’t help but laugh at the thought of having the other in his position now. What if he actually did the same? Make a lot of noise and disrupt his peaceful sleep?

He knew he always joked about it, and he did wish a lot of times for an opportunity, but looking at Hyunjin right now, he didn’t have the heart to do it. He was sleeping so peacefully, mumbling more words that Felix couldn’t understand, hands clenched like a baby. Felix had to admit, he looked quite cute.

Another thing he never thought he would ever associate with Hyunjin. 

Felix placed the cup in the microwave and went over to the fridge for something to drink. There weren’t many options and honestly he wasn’t much of a fan of carbonated beverages so water it was. The only two glasses they owned (Hyunjin had broken the other two) were dirty on the sink – he’d need to have a talk with his roommate again – , so he looked for his coffee cup but it was nowhere to be found. He remembered he had been in a rush that morning and had left it on his bedside table before running out to class. He quickly went back to his room and got it.

When Felix arrived at the living room/kitchen area again, he noticed he had forgotten something very important: to stop the microwave before the time was up. He sprinted over to it, hoping he was able to get in time, but despite the place being small, there was only so much he could do, and he couldn’t move in one second the distance it usually took him to move in five.

So that’s how Felix ended up in front of the microwave at three fifteen in the morning, with a hand on the stop button and the other holding his cup, looking at a sleepy Hyunjin raising his head from the couch.

“Felix?” His voice was rough from sleep.

“I’m sorry!” He grimaced.

There was a silence for a few more seconds before Hyunjin said “Did you do that on purpose?”

“I swear I didn’t!”

“You know, I wouldn’t be mad at you if you did. I had it coming.”

“I’m not that mean!” Felix protested.

“Don’t pretend it never crossed your mind.”

“I mean...yes…” He admitted. “But I didn’t do it, really! I know you don’t do it on purpose.” He knew it even better now. 

Hyunjin rubbed his eyes. “Ok.”

“I’m sorry, you...were right. It’s harder than I thought.” He said as Hyunjin was sitting up. “You looked so deep in sleep, I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok. My neck is kind of stiff anyway. I don’t think I would have been able to survive sleeping in that position all night.” He rubbed the back of his neck and stood up. “Goodnight, Felix.” He said with a yawn before walking to their room

“Goodnight. I’ll try not to make too much sound. Sorry!” He added again.

Felix got his food out of the microwave and ate it in less than five minutes, eager to be back in his bed. When he returned to his room, he found Hyunjin fast asleep again, curled up on his own bed. It was funny that this was actually the first time Felix saw him sleeping here. It only took their roles to reverse and that forsaken microwave. 

“Yes, yes. I'll clean it, Minjunnie. Don't worry, go play.” Hyunjin turned around in his bed. 

Felix smiled. Honestly, instead of being annoying, Hyunjin's sleep talking was kind of…cute? He really wondered how he never noticed it before. But he didn't mind it. 

He thought of what Hyunjin had said before. And how considerate he had been without him knowing. He thought of how calm and understanding he had been when Felix woke him up just now. And for the first time, Felix felt bad about ever being mean to his roommate. 

\------------------------

“Eric! Eric please slow down, be careful!” Sangyeon was carrying Wonyoung, who had just fallen down while running. She hadn't been hurt at all but she had been surprised by the fall and had started crying. Sangyeon had picked her up and reassured her it was fine and she had finally calmed down a little. 

However now, Eric was proving to be a challenge by being… well, Eric.

“He’s going to try to climb the tree again.” Hyunjin said to Felix while helping Sakura open her bag of chips. 

“No, no. He’ll try to get to the top of the ‘castle’ and play thief again.” Felix whispered, trying not to speak too loud not to wake up little Sunwoo who was asleep on his lap. 

“Want to bet?” Hyunjin challenged. 

He raised his eyebrows. “Oh, you’re making this a bet?”

“I’ve known Eric for longer.”

“Eric likes me more.” He stuck out his tongue at Hyunjin, which made Sakura – who was sitting besides them calmly eating her chips – giggle. They both smiled at her. 

The taller boy crossed his arms. “What does that have to do with this?” 

“It just does.” Felix shrugged. 

“I think Felix oppa is right.” Sakura said. 

“SEE!” He shouted. Then remember Sunwoo was still asleep. “See!” He repeated more quietly. “Kkura knows I'm right.”

Hyunjin dramatically placed a hand on his chest and fake cried. “I have been betrayed by Kku, I can't believe it.”

Sakura giggled again and grabbed the sleeve of his shirt. “Don't cry, oppa!” Which instantly made Hyunjin stop pretending, and laugh. 

The little girl was seriously adorable. 

“Alright, loser invites to lunch today.” Felix agreed. 

“Deal.”

Not even two minutes later the loser was decided. 

Sangyeon placed Wonyoung back on the ground and went running to the other boy. “Eric, don’t go there! No, come here Eric, no climbing in the playground!”

“I’LL TAKE THE KING’S CROWN!”

And that’s how Felix enjoyed more free food today. 

They ended up going to a korean restaurant because he had been craving japchae for a week now, and since Hyunjin was paying he had told Felix to choose whatever he wanted.

“How was your chem exam, by the way?” Felix swallowed his food. “I forgot to ask you yesterday.”

“Oh, I think I did pretty well! Thanks to _you_ and not my professor.” He made a disgusted face that made Felix laugh. He had a personal vendetta against his professor. But Felix couldn’t blame him; he _was_ a terrible professor.

Felix had been helping his roommate study chem for the past few weeks. It had been a long process, and that’s why Hyunjin hadn’t wanted to ask Felix for help — Hyunjin being Hyunjin didn’t want to ‘bother you more than I already do'. But Felix knew how much he was trying and how he had been struggling with his grades for that class for long. So one time, when he found him about to pull his hair out, he decided to be a good person and offer his help. 

They had settled on studying almost everyday after their shift at the center or their last class, at least three hours every time — since Felix basically had to explain to him three months of classes in the two weeks before the next exam.

Needless to say, they obviously had spent a lot more time together; and Felix found himself warming up more and more to the other boy. They were starting to really get to know each other, and since he could tell Hyunjin was putting real effort in being a better roommate, Felix had no reason left to dislike him. On the contrary, Hyunjin’s sweet and kind personality had grown so much on him that he had gone from wishing to never have to see Hyunjin again, to looking up to their study sessions (though he would never admit that out loud).

“Do you have anything else to do today?” Hyunjin asked after a while. Both had been quietly enjoying their food. 

“Hmm, no. Why?” He only had to finish one small project, but he wasn’t really in the mood to do it anyway.

“I was thinking…” Hyunjin paused. Felix raised his head from his japchae to look at him. He was biting his lip, which meant he was nervous about something.

“Yeah?” 

“Well, I was thinking we could maybe do something fun? I don’t have much to do now that I finished exams so...if you wanted…”

Felix wondered why Hyunjin was so nervous about asking him that. But then he remembered that they still hadn’t hung out much besides in the center and their study sessions. They did talk a lot more at home now, and they left the center together, but outside of that, they never did much with each other. 

“Sure! Do you have anything in mind?”

“I might...”

\------------------

Hyunjin’s idea of spending the rest of the day was actually something Felix had yet to try.

“I saw these the other day when I was running around here. I’ve been wanting to ride one of those but thought it would be quite boring alone; Changbin has motion sickness and Seungmin kept saying he was busy.” He paused. “Wait, you don’t have motion sickness right?”

Felix shook his head.

They arrived at the river after a few minutes. It was pretty empty right now, only a few people walking here and there. They spotted the ring boats almost instantly, since the bright orange on the top was almost impossible to miss.

They paid for one ride and got into their boat.

“I’ve never done this before. It’s kind of exciting.” Felix exclaimed. Hyunjin nodded agreeing with him.

However, the excitement left not much later. Felix had taken the role of guiding the boat around, but it was harder than expected to keep it on the track he wanted. 

“Can I try?” Felix let him handle it, but after a few minutes it was clear that he wasn’t any better than him. “You do it.” He gave it back to Felix.

“What if I do this?” He said as he started directing in the boat in a circular motion. It was fun for a minute and then it wasn’t. “Yeah, nevermind. I think I’ll develop motion sickness if I keep doing this.” 

“You know, it’s been a while since I did something outside.” Hyunjin commented. 

“Me too.” In between school and the center, he barely had any time to do anything else. Though honest, this wasn’t what he imagined himself doing.

“Isn’t this kind of boring though?” Hyunjin looked at him and scrunched his nose.

“I...didn’t want to say it, but a little, yes.” Felix chuckled.

Hyunjin cracked up. “Let’s go back.”

After Felix directed their boat back to the pier, they got out and walked around the river for a while. The day was really nice. The sky was bright and a light breeze refreshed the air.

They walked around for a while, talking about nothing in particular really.

“Wait. Should we do that?” Hyunjin pointed to his left, where bikes were available to rent and drive around for a period of time.

Felix made a face. “I’m not- I’m not very good at riding the bike.”

“Really?” He seemed shocked.

Felix chuckled. “Why does that surprise you?”

“I don’t know. I feel like you are someone who can do anything.”

Felix almost snorted. “I’m definitely not.

“No, you are right.” Hyunjin nodded. “You definitely _can’t_ sleep in peace.”

Felix let out the loudest laugh he had let out in a while. They passed someone who looked at him like he was crazy.

“True. In my defence that’s not my fault though.” He looked over at Hyunjin and raised his eyebrows. This time, his expression wasn’t accusing. He was just joking around.

Hyunjin smiled and then cringed. “Sorry.”

“It’s been _slightly_ better these days, I have to say.”

“I know.”

Felix ended up accepting the bike offer. He regretted it a few minutes later.

His bike wobbled a lot, and even if he wanted to blame the bike, or the road, he knew the problem was the biker. 

Hyunjin rode around him in circles with a control Felix was clearly lacking; he was struggling to keep his bike going. 

“You weren’t kidding, were you?”

Felix wobbled once more and his bike tilted to the left. Luckily, he was able to straighten it before he fell. 

Hyunjin stopped circling around him and rode ahead. “You can’t catch me!” He shouted in a sing-song voice.

Felix laughed. “Try me!” He answered. Of course he was joking, he knew he could definitely not catch him when he could barely ride. But it still made Hyunjin laugh. _So that’s good I guess._

By the end of their ride, Felix had gotten slightly better, — not remotely close to Hyunjin surely — but at least he had managed not to fall off his bike and embarrass himself.

All in all, even if Felix had struggled and their boat ride hadn’t been as exciting as they expected, Felix actually had enjoyed himself.

Spring has fully settled now. The sky was barely getting dark despite the hour. Hyunjin and Felix walked side to side back home. 

“You have one exam left tomorrow, right?” Hyunjin spoke.

“Yes, how did you know?” He was a little taken aback.

“I remember you saying that a few days ago.”

Felix had indeed mentioned that one of his exams had been set back a few days. He was surprised he remembered, but he guessed he should know by now that the other boy was attentive.

“Didn’t you have to study for it?” Hyunjin kicked a pebble that skipped a few times and then fell in the road.

“Not really. I had already studied for it before they changed the date. It’s pretty easy anyway. I already did the one I was worried about and it went well. This one is fine.” Hyunjin nodded. “Besides,” He continued, “we’ve been studying a lot, I just wanted to do something fun.” He lightly hit the other with his elbow and smiled.

“Was it?” Hyunjin was looking straight ahead; the setting sun making shadows in his face, highlighting his perfect bone structure. He truly was handsome, wasn't he? 

Felix was once again struck by the sudden thought. 

“Fun?”

“Yes. I got the impression you were kind of, well, bored.” He shrugged. 

Felix didn’t know how to answer it, to be truthful. The activities were not really fun in itself, and yet, he still had a good time, so that’s what he said. “I had a good time. Were _you_ bored?”

Hyunjin shook his head. “I had a good time too.”

They remained in silence for a while; there was something Felix had been meaning to tell him, so he took advantage of now.

“You still go to sleep at Changbin’s.” It wasn’t really a question; the question was why. He knew Hyunjin understood.

“I still don’t want to bother you. The sleep talking...” He scratched his head.

“I’ve heard it.” Felix admitted. 

The tallest boy whipped his head at him. “What? When?” He looked surprised.

“That one time you fell asleep on the couch.”

Hyunjin mouthed an ‘oh’ and his cheeks instantly turned red, which made Felix laugh.

“It’s not as bad as you painted it. And you were right, it seems to be the only thing that doesn’t wake me up.” He smiled and Hyunjin chuckled. “You don’t have to worry or be embarrassed about it. I think it’s kind of...cute.” He said that out loud. _I can’t believe I did that._

Hyunjin’s cheeks went even deeper red and he looked away.

As soon as they got into their apartment, they started what had been a usual routine when they came home mainly late at night. Felix went straight to take a bath while Hyunjin did...whatever Hyunjin does — Felix didn’t really know because he was, well, taking a bath. 

Once Felix was out, Hyunjin took his place; cleaning up after a hard day chasing around little kids and running from class to class. 

Felix had been sitting on his bed looking at his phone when his roommate came back in. He had been too lazy to look for his earphones that were on his backpack, so he had been listening to the video with his phone’s speaker.

“Wait.” Hyunjin froze and looked at him. “You like anime?” He probably said this because of the loud japanese talking coming from his device.

“Yeah, why?” If Hyunjin was one of those anime haters, he swore to god all the progress they’ve done in the past weeks had been for nothing.

Luckily his roommate just said, “Oh cool! I didn’t know you liked it. What are you watching?” He approached his bed.

He turned around his phone to show his screen.

“Yakusoku no neverland! That’s one of my favorite mangas! I still haven’t had time to watch the anime though.” 

So Hyunjin not only likes anime, but reads manga too? 

After thinking about it for a second, he scooted over to the wall and patted the free space on his bed. The other seemed to think about it for a second before he decided to accept the offer.

“I was just starting it anyway, so I can just go back and watch it together, if you want to. But no spoilers!” Felix looked at him sterly. He would kick him out if he spoiled it for him.

Hyunjin laughed and made a motion to say his lips were sealed. 

Felix replayed the episode.

A few episodes later, Hyunjin had kept his promise. He had ‘oohed’ and ‘ahhed’ and ‘I forgot that happened!’ but nothing else besides that. For Felix, he was enjoying a lot more than he expected — and he had high expectations for it from the beginning.

Around episode seven, they had been so focused watching it, that both had ignored both of the warnings his phone had given him about his low battery. They were forced to remember however, when his phone abruptly shut down.

“Shit!” Felix cursed and Hyunjin let out a loud laugh.

“Well, that’s a way to tell us we should stop.” 

Felix looked at the hour displayed on his little bedside table clock. “We’ve been at this for more than two hours?!” 

Hyunjin followed his line of sight and muttered ‘wow’ after looking at the clock. “Time sure goes fast. I guess we should be going to sleep now.” 

However, neither of them moved. 

“Hey.” A silence had settled for a few minutes. Just like usual, it wasn’t awkward; it was comforting, more than anything, calm. This was something he liked about hanging out with Hyunjin.

“Hmm?”

“Thank you.”

Felix turned to look at him. “What for?”

“Just...for being patient with me, I guess? I know I’m a lot to deal with.” He looked down at his hands. Nervous and insecure. He knew that’s what that look meant.

“Don’t think so lowly about yourself.” Felix reassured.

“Don’t tell me I’m not right.” He raised his head to look at him.

“Well…” He didn’t want to make him feel bad but he also did not want to lie.

“See.” He looked down again.

“Listen. It’s true, you can be quite a lot, BUT…” He paused a moment to think what to say next. “You once told me you would understand if I hated you or disliked you. I never hated you. Let’s settle that.” He wanted Hyunjin to genuinely believe it. “But if I’m really honest with you, I did dislike you a little.”

“I know you do.” His voice was small. Very unlike Hyunjin who tended to be loud in everything.

“ _Did_.” He corrected him. “I disliked you. Past.” Felix took a deep breath. “I-I also carry part of the blame. I mean, you did things that bothered me sure, but I never took the time to talk to you. To tell you what bothered me and understand your reasons. I never even bothered to know you; and I guess that’s what I should’ve done first, because then I would have been able to see you are not actually half as bad as I thought.”

The corners of Hyunjin’s lips went up a little. “I really am sorry.”

“I know that now. And I’m sorry for being such an insensitive bitch.”

Hyunjin looked up at him with big eyes. “You weren’t!”

“No, I was.” He chuckled. “And also...I know how you’ve been trying to do better. I see it.” He lightly elbowed his friend. “If I only knew that all it would take was being nice to you and getting along I would have probably been fake nice to you.” He rolled his eyes jokingly.

Hyunjin laughed, he looked a little more relaxed than he had a few minutes before. “Thank you, anyway. I will keep trying to not be so loud and messy.”

Felix nodded and smiled at him reassuringly. 

The light in which he saw Hyunjin now was a completely different color than what he had before. Past the annoying habits, was a pure, honest and caring person, who despite knowing he was lacking in a lot of things, did his best to improve. Felix then realized that’s all he wanted. He didn’t want the perfect roommate like he had thought before, but someone he could get along with and someone who he was comfortable with, like now. 

Both were still sitting in his bed, but after a few hours of slumping over his phone, they had gotten closer to each other, their legs and arms touching. He honestly didn’t mind it. 

More than anything, he just wanted someone who could be his friend. He realized now, Hyunjin was, and had been, for a few weeks already.

“I’m glad we are friends now.” He was honest. Despite everything, he truly did.

Hyunjin raised his head to look at him. For some reason, he looked surprised. Well, he guessed the reason was because it had been a long road to get here. Maybe he even had already given up on the idea of getting along, much less being close.

His eyes sparkled and he gave Felix a dazzling smile when he said “me too.”

Another silence settled for a few minutes, then Hyunjin whipped out his phone from the pocket of his sweatpants. “Want to finish the episode?”

“Please!”

\-----------------------

Felix didn’t remember what happened. He remembers Hyunjin playing the anime on his phone, they had changed to laying down on their backs and propping the phone up with pillows and watching for a while. But after that, his mind went blank.

He just knows that when he woke up the next morning, he felt something tangled on his legs, and there was something soft underneath his arm. 

_Wait…_

He opened his eyes to find none other than Hwang Hyunjin sleeping beside him on his bed. He instantly sat up. Something had been laying on his stomach that fell on the bed when he changed positions. He looked down to find Hyunjin’s phone. 

That explained a lot. They had both fallen asleep in the middle of their anime binge watching. 

He looked over at Hyunjin who was still sleeping peacefully, his hair sticking oddly at all sides, hands clenched like a baby as usual. Felix smiled at the image. Then his smile left him when he remembered his alarm hadn’t gone off, because he had forgotten to charge his phone last night. 

He picked Hyunjin’s phone and looked at the time.

“Shit!” They were _so_ late for their shift at the center. “Jin, wake up!” He untangled his legs from Hyunjin’s and shook him awake. 

His friend raised his head and rubbed his eyes confused. “What?”

“We are so fucking late!” Felix said as he jumped off the bed and ran over to the bathroom. Before closing the door, he heard a loud “FUCKING HELL!” that made him practically cackle.

\-------------------

It had been the first time since the start of his volunteering program that Felix had been late. Both him and Hyunjin had run together over to the center as fast as they could and they still hadn’t avoided being twenty five minutes late. Haseul and Sangyeon had been really understanding, since this was the first time; but he felt really embarrassed. 

He was trying however, not to think much about the reason why he had been late; but he was reminded every time he looked over at his friend. 

He wondered what Hyunjin thought about it. They both hadn’t even had time to eat, much less talk about anything.

Felix shook his head. _Why am I thinking about this again?_ It was nothing, really. They were tired, they fell asleep. Like he said, nothing. He had no idea why the thought kept circulating in his brain.

The kids were pretty calm today. Which was a relief, because Felix wasn’t fully himself right now. It had probably been the fact that he had woken up so abruptly and had no time to eat anything.

Felix looked over at Hyunjin who was attentively listening to Chanhee talk about a book Sangyeon had read to them last week.

Chanhee was usually really quiet. He was the complete contrast to Eric, who was loud and energetic and would make conversations with rocks — no, seriously, they even get names. Nonetheless, once Chanhee got used to someone, he would speak to no end. Just like Eric seemed to love Felix more than anyone else, Chanhee had an special affinity to Hyunjin — the only ones he seemed to be as comfortable with were his best friends Changmin and Sunwoo — and that made him want to talk with Hyunjin about everything and anything. Besides Sakura, Chanhee was the other kid who seemed to connect with Hyunjin the most.

“I liked the rose the most. I like roses in general. They are all beautiful. Flowers are beautiful, don’t you think, hyung?”

“Absolutely!”

“But I also like the little prince. Hyung,” he grabbed Hyunjin’s hand and shook it up and down, playing with it while he talked, “I want to be a little prince. I want to have a pretty, pretty red rose. And live in space. Sangyeon hyung told me about space. It sounds fun. I want to have a pretty rose in space. Do you think I can? I want to be like the little prince, can I?”

Hyunjin smiled endearingly at the little boy and messed his hair. “You are a little prince already.”

Chanhee laughed delighted and shook Hyunjin’s hand harder.

Felix found himself smiling. He looked at Hyunjin again while Chanhee rambled over about the planets and stars Sangyeon had told him about. 

One of the best things about Hyunjin was that he was a good listener. He paid attention to you, and would be there when you needed it. Kids like Chanhee and Sakura, who were more quiet, usually were more perceptive. They talked less and felt more. So they could, instinctively, understand their needs at an earlier age. Them being shy and composed, usually needed someone who _really_ listened so they could _really_ be heard. They had found that in him.

Hyunjin’s hair had gotten much longer recently, and a strand from his bags had fallen on his eyes. Felix had the sudden impulse to- 

_What the fuck?_

He quickly averted his eyes and was thankful for the kids as a distraction. Because there was something at the back of his brain, something he didn’t really understand but that was slowly brewing and taking shape, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to know what it was.

\----------------- 

With Felix's last exam finally done, he had agreed to spend some time with Jisung. It had been a while since the last time they just did nothing together.

They had gone out for lunch and were now lying on their backs side by side on Jisung’s bed. 

“You know, I was expecting you to reject my date with me today.”

Felix turned his head towards him. “Why? Just because you have a boyfriend now doesn’t mean we can’t go on friend dates. I will never give up getting free food from you.”

His best friend grabbed a pillow from his bed and hit him across the stomach. “You’re not supposed to _get_ free food! Why do you keep stealing mine if you buy your own stuff?”

“Because I want to.” Felix answered. “And it’s fun seeing how much food I steal from you before you notice. And then it’s also fun to see your face when you do.” That earned him another blow.

“That’s not what I meant anyway.”

“What?”

Jisung playfully poked him in the side. “I mean because you now seem so busy going on dates with your new bestie.”

Frowning, he stared at Jisung, confused for a second. But then his friend’s teasing expression made it clear.

“I’ve never gone on a date with Hyunjin.”

“Really? Because Changbin told me he has seen you two walking home together. Even when he knows you are not coming from the center.” Jisung raised his eyebrows again. “So…”

He didn’t know how to answer that without making it worse for himself so he decided to take another route. “Why? Are you jealous you’re getting replaced?”

“Me? Never!” Jisung laughed sarcastically. “But you do seem to spend a lot of time with him now. Talk a lot about him too.”

“I don’t.”

“Oh, you do. Do you know the amount of times you mentioned Hyunjin today.”

“You were the one who mentioned him now!” Felix complained. 

“Because you can’t seem to stop anyway. It’s ‘Hyunjin is so good with the kids, and this one time that Hyunjin, Hyunjin said this and that and he’s so good at dancing and I’m in love with him.’

“What?! You’re crazy what are you talking about? I never said that!”

“The last one no, but deny the rest and I will have no option but to call you a liar.” He challenged him. 

Felix wanted to pillow-slap the smug face from Jisung’s face. But he had no defence on that one; he realized his friend was right. He had mentioned Hyunjin once or twice. Not as much as Jisung was making it look, though.

“Since when are you so in love with your roommate?” Jisung blurted out.

“I’m not in love, shut up!” Felix didn’t hold in this time and took the other pillow in the bed and knocked him on the chest. 

“Then?” Jisung grabbed the other end of the pillow and tugged at it but Felix wasn’t letting his weapon go.

“I just realized he’s nowhere near as annoying as I thought he was. I mean, there’s still stuff he does that annoyed me a bit, but him? No, I actually like him. I think I judged him too soon. Without knowing him properly. What’s wrong about that?” He asked defensively. 

“Wow, look at you! That’s what I call character development.”

Felix whacked him with the pillow again.

Felix could tell when Jisung’s expression changed. The teasing was out of his face, now replaced by a more serious look — though curious at that too. “What made you change your mind so drastically? What convinced you he wasn’t like you thought?”

The answer was something that had been in the back of his mind this whole time, but he had never one so far as to make the question. “He’s just so...nice. He’s so sweet and gentle with the kids. He’s caring and thoughtful. He’s very empathic. Well, that’s kind of expected actually, since he’s a phycology major. But he’s also so smart, way more than he lets people on. His clumsiness is actually his charm, I think. That and how innocent he is, it’s quite...cute. He’s a good friend, a good listener, just...a great person overall. Yeah.” He finished, feeling self-conscious about the sudden confession.

Jisung just looked at him with a straight face and then said “You’re whipped.”

“It’s not like that! I just like him as a friend, don’t make shit up.”

“Wouldn’t blame you. He’s a hottie. Eye candy.” He winked.

Felix groaned. “Oh my god, no that again! Don’t you have a boyfriend already?”

“And?” He shrugged. “I can still appreciate beauty.”

Felix sighed dramatically, but didn’t add anything else.

“Well?” Jisung pushed.

“Well what, Han Jisung?”

“Are you gonna admit it or not?”

“Admit what?” Felix was playing dumb; he knew what the other meant.

“That he’s a hottie.” He successfully took possession of the pillow in Felix's hands. “C'mon, you don’t have to like him to admit he’s stupidly good looking. I thought your weird vendetta for him was the only thing making you blind!” He continuously smacked him everywhere. Felix kicked him in the leg but he was laughing.

“Well…” He started after the hitting stopped.

“Yes?”

“He is...very attractive, yes.” Enfasis in very, actually. “He looks really good when he dances.” He added as an afterthought.

“There we are. I knew there was no way you really thought he was ugly. You have a pair of eyes, after all.”

Felix rolled said pair of eyes. Of course he didn’t think Hyunjin was ugly. On the contrary, he was constantly struck by his roommate’s beauty: those sparkling dark eyes, his stupidly perfect proportions, those plush lips…

Anyway, he wasn’t telling Jisung any of that, for sure.

“Funny how you were the one telling me how Hyunjin is literally the most annoying person in the world and you would room with literally anyone but him.”

“I did say that.”

“Many times. Thousands probably. Is honestly everything I heard from you ever since the start of the year. Hyunjin this and Hyunjin that and how you would want to punch him little handsome face.”

“Yeah…” Felix smiled, remembering. _How much had changed..._

“And now you’re here talking about him with that adoringly smile on your face that makes you look like you’re in love.”

“I’m not in love! He’s just someone I appreciate a lot now, someone I like a lot. _As a friend.”_

“Right ok, whatever you say mister I-like-him-as-a-friend. I used to say that about Bin and look where I am right now.”

“It’s not like that.” He said in a singsong tone.

“Al-right.” Jisung answered in the same manner.

He wasn’t. Right?

No, he wasn’t. Even if he was definitely good looking, and he liked spending time with him, and sometimes when he looked at him he would feel kind of funny and most of the time he couldn’t stop thinking of the way the light illuminated his face in the morning when they woke up next to each other and the feel of his skin on his made him feel like-

No, no. He wasn’t in love with him. Jisung liked to play with him. This was probably payback for all the Changbin teasing Felix had given him. 

There was no way he was falling in love with Hwang Hyunjin.

Right?

\-------------------

  
  


What Felix less expected then, and what ended up happening in the following days, was that he would get a shot of his own medicine. 

Was this how Hyunjin felt? Felix suddenly regretted all the times he spoke coldly to his roommate. If this was how it felt, now wonder Hyunjin didn’t talk to him at all and that he thought he hated him. 

It couldn’t have felt this bad for Hyunjin, however, because there was no sense of loss. Since the moment they had met each other, there had been no connection between them, nothing Hyunjin could miss. Felix was missing Hyunjin a lot right now. It was a bit painful, if he was honest. No, more than a bit.

For some reasons, unbeknownst to him, Hyunjin had decided he would stop talking to Felix. 

He arrived home after his day with Jisung to find the place empty. He didn’t think anything of it at first; Hyunjin had probably gone to Seungmin’s or maybe he was buying groceries, or in the library studying for something. He discarded the last two since they had just recently restocked their food and exam period had been over only about a week ago, there was not much to study at the moment — besides, Hyunjin tended to be a procrastinator. So maybe he was at Sungmin's.

That option started becoming unlikely as the clock moved, and there was no Hyunjin in sight. Seungmin was an early sleeper — one of the things that made him and Minho such a good match; they were the same —, so Hyunjin usually would never stay as late as this hour. Would he?

He opened his chat app and searched for Hyunjin in his contacts. 

_lix: jin_

_are you coming soon?_

_i made dinner_

Ten minutes later and there was still no answer. And it was there that he noticed his messages hadn't even gone though. Did he have no service or was his phone off?

He was scrolling through his contacts, thinking about calling Minho with the risk of waking him up and having to hear him complain about it — Minho was a light sleeper; he had set a rule of no calling during beauty sleep time-, when someone else’s contact caught his eye.

Seungmin had been online recently. Only two minutes ago.

If Seungmin was awake, chances were Minho was too. He took the risk.

“Lee Felix, why do you call this late?” Was his hyung’s way of greeting.

“I know you weren’t sleeping.”

“What about it? What do you want?”

Felix bit his lip. “Hyung.”

“Yes?”

“By any chance, is Hyunjin there?”

The other side of the line went silent, making Felix wondered if the other was still on the other side.

“Hyung?”

He heard a loud sigh. “Yes, he’s here. Why?”

“Oh, nothing. I just-I was wondering where he went. I made dinner but he didn’t come home. I messaged him but he probably has his phone turned off...”

Minho hummed, but he just remained silent.

“Well, I’m going to sleep probably. Tell Hyunjin that I left something for him in the fridge for when he comes, I-”

“I think he’s staying here tonight.” His hyung interrupted. 

“Oh. Okay.”

Hyunjin didn’t stay at Seungmin’s dorm frequently. Not with their schedules and sleep patterns being so different. But he guessed it wasn’t that weird?

Already tired from today and knowing Hyunjin was okay now, he said goodbye to Minho and went to bed. He would probably see Hyunjin already here in the morning anyway.

But turns out, he was wrong.

Next day was free for him, so he hadn’t set an alarm with the intention of sleeping as much as he could — you don’t get many of these opportunities when you are in university. 

Hyunjin was _still_ not there. And there were no traces of him. _Weird._

Maybe he had fallen asleep too. Yeah, that was probably it. 

Felix took the day to clean around the dorm. He organized his room, cleaned the bathroom, worked around the kitchen, and even changed one of the burnt light bulbs in the living room. 

Next time he knew, it was three p.m and still no Hyunjin.

He ended up coming back late at night. Felix had stayed up to wait for him, but when Felix greeted him as he stepped inside, Hyunjin didn’t even pay him attention and went straight to his room.

Felix remained seated there, almost by shock. Had he not heard him? No, there was no way, he had spoken clearly. Had he done something to upset him? He had no idea. Last time he spoke to him he had been fine. 

In fact, they had been more than fine. In the last few weeks, they had gotten much closer than ever. Jisung was right on that, he _did_ spend a lot of his time with Hyunjin these days. He had grown attached to him, and had constantly sought for his company. They even had a routine when they come home at night: take turns taking a bath, then dinner together, then they watch stuff on either of their beds and even, most of the time, they fall asleep besides each other.

That was probably one of the things that brought them closer. Felix learned that Hyunjin tends to be quite clingy. So it wasn’t unusual for him to wake up with long legs and arms tangled around his body. He also learned that he didn’t mind it.

All this was what made Hyunjin’s demeanour such a shock.

A week passed, and Hyunjin hadn’t directed one word at him. He barely spent time in the dorm, he avoided Felix as much as he could at the center, and once their shift was done, he practically ran out of the place. The change had been so drastic that even Sangyeon had asked him if something had happened between them. Felix hadn’t known what to answer, because he didn’t know himself.

It was starting to be too much. To the point he had desperately asked Minho and Jisung to ask their roommates if they had any idea of what had caused such strange behavior — Hyunjin had _never_ been so cold to him, not even when they weren’t friends and Felix looked at him like he wanted to kill him —, but neither of them had given him an answer. 

He was desperate, he missed his friend so much, and that cold indifference made him feel so empty he wanted to cry. He wanted to at least understand _why._

So finally, one day, he decided to wait for Hyunjin in their room. He had the lights off, pretending to be asleep. He feared falling asleep that way, but honestly he was too nervous for that. Plus, he hadn't been sleeping these past nights. He never thought he would miss Hyunjin banging cabinets and they beeping of the microwave so much, but he wanted that back if it meant Hyunjin would speak to him again.

He heard the front door open and close, waited for Hyunjin to enter his room, and took the opportunity when he was distracted taking his sleeping close out of the cabinets, to stand up and stand on the path to the door, — so that he wasn’t really blocking the way, but it was clear Felix didn’t want him to leave.

“I need to talk to you.”

There was no answer. He could tell his whole body was tense, but he was still not looking at him.

“What happened? What did I do?” He ran a hand over his hair. “If it’s- if it’s something that I did or say, please tell me.”

Hyunjin huffed, his back was still to him. Felix could tell he was tense.

“Jin?” Still no answer. “Please? I miss you.” He said the last part really softly. Hyunjin heard it anyway.

That earned him a chuckle — the most reaction he had seen from him in a week —, but it was so bitter.

Hyunjin finally turned around. “What the fuck is your deal?”

The sharpness and harshness to his tone was something Felix had never heard coming from him; it made him flinch. It both scared him, and saddened him at the fact it was directed at him.

“Jin, I don’t understand.”

“You know, I was so stupid.” He rubbed a hand over his face. “When you said you would’ve been fake nice to me if that made me stop bothering you, I thought you were joking.”

Felix remembered that. “I was. Why are you bringing that up?”

“Fuck. I was such an idiot. I thought you really liked me. I was really here thinking you actually wanted to be my friend, that we were getting close. I let myself get close to you. What an idiot.” He walked over to the door, but Felix tugged at his hoodie. He wasn’t pulling strongly, just enough for the other boy to stop. “Felix, let me go.”

“No. You are not leaving after you explain why you are saying that.”

“Really? Do I need to?” He looked at him in the eye. He looked mad. Mad as he had never seen him before. Hyunjin’s personality was calm, patient. Now besides the anger, besides his shining eyes, there was a crack, pain showing itself.

“Of course! Do you really think me to be such a fucking asshole?”

He threw his hands up in the air, exasperated. “I don’t know, you tell me.”

“Hyunjin, what the fuck? What did I do?” Felix pleaded. He just wanted to understand.

“I heard you! I was there!” He finally broke down. “Alright, maybe I’m an idiot but you're an idiot too. You know I go to Changbin’s and Jisung’s place often. And yet, you go and talk shit about me.”

“What?” Felix let go of his hoodie in surprise. Things were finally starting to take shape. “You heard me talking to Jisung about you?”

“Yeah, yeah whatever, Felix. I get it. I’m annoying, you hate me. Let’s pretend we don’t exist like we used to do. I won’t bother you.” The set of his jaw was tense, he was looking at the floor.

Hyunjin started to reach for the door again but Felix blocked his way once more. “No!”

“Step away.”

“No, Hyunjin, hear me out.” He was almost pleading. He needed _Hyunjin_ to understand now. “Fuck, I don’t think that. I did before but-”

“No need to explain. I know. I heard it, okay? Very clearly. You don’t like me, that's fine, I know that from the beginning.” His voice was shaking, and when he looked down at his hands he noticed they were too.

“Well that wasn’t a secret to anyone. You knew I thought you were annoying, I couldn’t have been more obvious. But that was-”

“Listen, I knew you didn’t like me much. Believe me I was fully aware. The thing is at least I thought that you wouldn’t be such a shitty person to make me believe you did!”

“I do like you! How many times do I have to tell you? Jisung and I were talking about before! Not! Now! I _seriously_ like you now.” _More than I should probably._

Ah. That was it. What a pity that he realized it in a moment like this...

“Yeah, sure.” His tone was full of sarcasm, but Felix could tell he was hiding how hurt he was.

“You don’t believe me?”

“Not when I literally heard Jisung say you thought I was, and I quote, _“the most annoying person in the world, I would want to room with literally anyone but him_ ”.”

“God, I’m telling you that was before!”

“Felix, cut the crap, okay? I prefer if you just say what you really feel. Say you hate me, I don’t care. Just don’t play with me, please.” He sounded tired. It made Felix’s heart clench.

“Would you really not care?” Felix’s face fell. “If I said I hated you.”

“So you do.” His voice came out strained.

“You’ve got it all so wrong.” If only he knew...

“You’re still holding onto that. Okay. Fuck you.” The anger in his words was palpable.

He was aware he had not been gentle with Hyunjin until recently. He was always mad and exasperated at him at the beginning of their relationship. Which was probably what hindered their chances of being friends from early on. He was also aware that he was not being really gentle right now. But god, Hyunjin made his blood boil sometimes. Before, that would make him want to punch a wall. Right now...It made him want to kiss him.

So he did.

He was probably a little too harsh when he crashed his lips with the ones of the boy in front of him. He most certainly could have pulled him closer a bit more gentle. But he wrapped his hands behind Hyunjin’s neck, his heart beating ten times faster for the ten seconds he felt Hyunjin kiss him back, before the other boy pulled away, flustered.

“Why would you do that?”

It had just really sinked in what he just did. _Crap, why did I do that?_ “I’m sorry. I'm so sorry. That was too abrupt. I just...I like you.”

“Please, please don’t play with my feelings, Felix.”

“Hyunjin, I’m serious. I really like you.”

“Don’t say it if you don’t mean it.”

This whole situation was making Felix loose his fucking head. “Hyunjin! Are you-are you hearing anything I say? For fucks sake, I just said I like you and _kissed you_. And you think I don’t mean it?!”

“Please don’t play with me. Don’t lie to me about this.” He whispered. Felix could tell he was almost on the verge of tears, and that broke his heart.

“Hyunjin.” He said softly and took the other boy’s hands in his. “I’m being honest. I like you. A lot, actually.”

A small sob escaped Hyunjin’s lips. He yanked his hands back and ran away. Just like that. He had just confessed to him but ended up making him cry and leaving. Great, Felix. That’s just great.

His heart was still beating fast and his brain was foggy. Did he just _kiss_ Hyunjin? Did he seriously like him like _that?_ Felix wasn’t sure. The only thing he was sure of was that in one way or the other, he genuinely liked the other boy, and having hurted him like this made his chest ache. He couldn’t believe there was a time they didn’t even speak to each other, Felix couldn’t imagine that now, Hyunjin meant so much to him, he had to find a way to have him back.

\------------------

  
  


“Changbin.”

Felix had waited for him in the park near his building. Both his and Changbin's building were pretty close to each other, so Felix knew the path the other took to get there, and he only needed to ask Jisung for Changbin's schedule and he knew where to find him. 

He did not want to do this, but even after his talk with Hyunjin, after the...kiss, Hyunjin still avoided him. More than ever actually. He was almost never in the dorm, there was no way of speaking to him alone. Everytime Felix tried, his roommate found a way to run away. And it was hard to try because he never even got close enough to him now. And realizing he liked him and not being able to do anything about it because the other boy had the wrong idea that he hated him, was absolutely making him lose his mind.

Changbin stopped in his tracks when he saw him. “Felix?”

“Hi.” He greeted; but there was no answer from the other boy. Felix took a deep breath and started. “I know you probably don’t like me much either right now but...I wanted to ask for your help.”

Changbin huffed. “My help? Really?”

“Yes. Please.” His voice sounded small even to his ears. He really wished he didn't have to do this, but he needed it. It was the only way. 

“You do know you have hurt my best friend more than enough, right? Why would I help you?”

“Because I want to make it right.” Felix took a step forward. “I don't know if Hyunjin told you…”

“That you were talking shit about him? Yes, he did.” Changbin crossed his arms, flexing his arm muscles, which made him look bigger than before, — and considering Felix's position right now, it was a little scary. 

“I wasn’t! I would never.” He stopped. Well… “No, I have to be honest. I used to do that. But I would never lie to him, I never have. This is all a misunderstanding.”

Changbin clicked his tongue. “Yeah, that’s what Jisung said.”

“You spoke to Jisung about this?” Jisung hadn't shared that with him, but he guessed it made sense. 

“Of course. He’s my boyfriend but Hyunjin is my best friend. I would never let _anyone_ speak ill of my best friend.”

“So, he must have told you what really happened.”

“He did.” Changbin sighed and his body relaxed. “I’m going to be honest. His version makes more sense.”

“It does! Because that’s the truth!”

Changbin chuckled. “Do you even know what he said to me?” A little smirk adorned his face. 

“Oh. No.” That made Changbin smile more. 

“He seems to be under the impression that you’re kinda in love with Hyunjin?” He raised his eyebrows questioningly. “Well, is he right?” He asked again after Felix failed to answer.

“I don’t know…”

He frowned. “What do you mean you don’t know?”

“I-I don’t know what I feel about him, just...that I like him.” His thoughts and feelings about Hyunjin were a mess in his head, but he was sure of that. 

“You like him?”

“I do. Hyunjin – he didn’t tell you then?” He wiggled his hands together nervously. 

“He told me about what he heard you and Jisung say. Told me you denied everything and I know you must have said something that really fucked him up because he came to my dorm practically sobbing.” The last words were thrown with more force. 

“Not said...” He whispered. 

“What?”

“He didn’t tell you then. It wasn’t something I said, it was something I did.” Remembering what happened made him feel butterflies in his stomach but it also made him feel like shit. “I kissed him.”

He blinked. And blinked again. And then he leaned forward a little, “I’m sorry Felix, could you repeat that? I think I heard wrong, you said you what?”

He laughed softly. “I kissed Hyunjin.”

“How terrible of a kisser must you be to make him cry like that?” Changbin winced.

“HEY! It wasn’t that.” An incredulous laugh escaped him. “We were fighting and I didn’t think and I–I did that. He thought I was playing with his feelings. I wasn’t. I meant it when I said I liked him.”

“Since when?” Changbin looked like he was between a mixture of surprised and amused. 

“I don’t really know. I don’t think there was a moment. I mean, I used to dislike him before, it’s not going to be something that happened overnight.” He shrugged. “It’s just, once I knew him, like, really knew him and not the idea I had of him, I realized how–how amazing he is. How sweet and caring. He deserves everything good and I was just so mean to him.”

The other boy stayed silent for a minute, looking at Felix as if he had some kind of lie detector in his brain and could scan him for any lie. “You really do like him, huh?”

Felix nodded while biting his lip.

“I can’t say I love him. That–it would maybe take time. But I can say I could.” He smiled shyly. “I like him enough now for it to be possible to come to that. And even if I didn’t actually like him like _that_. Even if he doesn’t like me like that either, I just like him. As a person. I liked him as a friend before I started to feel anything else, and I want to keep that, at least.”

“I could see it in the way you looked at him, I guess.” Changbin laughed at Felix's confused expression. “I saw you constantly when you guys walked to your dorm. One of the reasons I believe Jisung’s explanation was more reasonable, was because the change in your face when you looked at Hyunjin was drastic. If you could’ve seen yourself before,” he chuckled, “it felt like you were always three seconds away from punching him. And now…”

“I don’t look like that, I’m gonna guess.”

“You look at him as if he’s an angel.”

Hyunjin _is_ an angel. “Sometimes I feel like he is.” He muttered softly. 

Changbin sighed. “It’s your lucky day, Lee Felix. I will help you. I’m doing it mainly because I hate to see Hyunjin so miserable. But, also because I can tell you’re being honest. I’m not yet sure if you deserve Hyunjin, but I guess I’m not the one to decide that. He will be.”

  
  


\-----------------

Felix’s hands were shaking, his head was a mess of thoughts and words. The half a dozen scenarios he had made in his head of how this could go were circling around it with no end in sight. He had rehearsed what to say many times, but nothing really seemed to be enough. He knew the possibility of their friendship being irreparable was very possible. He was afraid of that the most.

“Jin.”

“What are you doing here? What—” He understood then. “I’m going to fucking kill Seo Changbin.”

Hyunjin had been waiting for his best friend to show up, of course, not him. Changbin had agreed on setting them up. Making Hyunjin believe they were going out together. They had agreed to meet in the same park he had asked for Changbin’s help before. It was a really quiet place where they could talk alone, but also somewhere Hyunjin could just leave if he wanted to — the least he wanted to do was make Hyunjin feel corned, he just wanted an opportunity to explain himself.

“Please, just hear me out, okay?”

“So you lie to me again? I’ve had enough of your pretending.”

“Hyunjin, please. I can’t force you to listen to me but- think it at least, as I way to not have to avoid each other at the dorm. If you still hate me I get it. But at least let’s resolve this so we can live more- peaceful. As much as we can.” 

Hyunjin remained silent and made no sign to leave. Felix took that as a green light. 

“I never lied to you. Ever. I made it clear when I didn’t like you, and I like to think I also made it clear I did. I mean, I don’t know about you, but I’m not the type to go kissing every guy around me.” He chuckled, but he was so nervous it came out more like a strangled cough. He cleared his throat and spoke again, “Do you know what Jisung said after what you heard?” Felix knew what the other had heard; and also what he had failed to hear apparently. If he had only stayed for a couple more seconds...

“I don’t think I want to hear that.”

“He said I talk about you with a smile that makes me look like I’m in love with you.” He spoke before Hyunjin could walk away. “He teases me about that a lot. About you. I guess he’s better at guessing at people’s feelings than I am. I mean, he knew about me liking you before even I did.”

Hyunjin was finally looking at him in the eyes. Felix took a step towards him. Hyunjin didn’t move so he took a few more, and sat down on a bench to Hyunjin’s right. After a few seconds the other boy followed. 

Okay, so here went everything he wanted to say. “Jin, I don’t hate you, I don’t dislike you, and I feel like a broken record saying this over and over again. But I’ll say it as much as I need to. How I felt about you back then doesn’t, in any way, resemble how I feel about you know. I never lied to you, I never pretended. Everything I ever said or felt about you was as real as I could be.”

“I know I’m mainly to blame for all of this. I know that if I had been more understanding, if I had seen you for you, we could’ve gotten along from the moment we met. I know I was an asshole, but I will never be that much of one to deceive you like that. I, in the least, want you to understand that when I say I liked you, I meant it.” It was Felix’s time to look down. “I understand if you don’t want to talk to me anymore or if _you_ are the one who dislike _me_ now...I mean, I know you most likely didn’t like me either then, I-”

“I've liked you since the beginning.”

He whipped his head back up. “What?”

“The first time I saw you, when you arrived...I thought you were beautiful. You know Eric always says you look like a fairy? He’s right. There’s something so enchanting about you, I don’t know what it is.” He frowned. “I crushed on you from the very beginning. Guess my immense disappointment when it turned out you hated me.”

“Hyunjin, I never hated you.”

“Well, whatever you felt, it was definitely not positive.” “When we started to get along, I was so happy. You started being nice to me and we started talking and when you helped me with school I– I was starting to believe everything could change. That we could be friends. Real friends. But…” 

“Jin, I meant it. And I want that too.” 

Hyunjin stayed silent for a few minutes. Every second that passed made his heart feel like it was going to jump out of his chest. He was fully expecting Hyunjin to reject him, to say there was no chance of being friends again, but he just said “Okay.”

“Okay?” Felix repeated surprised,

“Okay. I want that too.”

“Okay?” Talking about a broken record...But he couldn’t stop, the words were echoing in his head. It was not what he had been fearing.

A very small smile — but still one — broke in his face. “Are you quoting that bad movie?”

“What? Oh-” Felix got the reference and chuckled.

“I can’t dislike you. I tried but I couldn’t, even now…”

“This may sound selfish, but I’m glad.” The weight that just got lifted off his shoulders was overwhelming.

Hyunjin opened his mouth to speak, but before anything came out, he closed it again. He seemed to be pondering on how to question it, so Felix gave him time.

“When you say you like me- do you...Why did you kiss me?” His cheeks went red as the spring flowers. _He’s so cute._

“I’m sorry about that, I shouldn’t have.”

“But why?” He insisted.

“I said I liked you, didn’t I?” Felix shrugged.

“Like that?” They made eye contact again, Hyunjin shyly lifting his face to look at him.

The light on his skin, on his big puppy eyes, as always, made him look like he was glowing. Angel.

Felix smiled adoringly at him, sure that his own freckled cheeks were pink colored too. “If by like that you mean I get the urge to kiss you every time I see you, then yes.”

“I mean, I do have pretty lips.” He admitted shyly.

Felix directed his eyes to those indeed very pretty lips almost unconsciously.“Very.”

“I would let you.”

“What?” His eyes snapped back to the other’s. 

“Kiss me.” Hyunjin murmured. Almost a whisper; but Felix heard. Hyunjin knew he heard, that was his intention.

“Oh,” realization hit him. “OH.”

Felix remained frozen, his mind running miles per hour trying to process what he just learned, so Hyunjin impatiently said “That was my way of asking you to kiss me, you know.”

A laugh escaped him. “Then just ask me.”

Slowly at first, he learned forward. He had never been so close to Hyunjin except when they were asleep (and their kiss of course, but he didn’t want to think about that). Only those moments had been completely platonic, Felix was still unaware of his own feelings then. Right now, his heart once again was threatening to run away, and his mind was only thinking _he wants me to kiss him? Oh my god, he wants me to kiss him._ In those few seconds he closed the distance between them, thoughts traveled his head like water on a busy river; but once he connected their lips, there was just one thing in his head.

_Wow. Wow, I really like him, don't I?_

Felix broke apart to look at him.

“I’m going to guess this means you believe me now?”

The other boy nodded.

“I’m also going to guess that just meant you like me too.”

He nodded once again.

“Can I-kiss you again?”

Hyunjin let out a delighted laugh. He looked like the usual him now. “Lee Felix, what part of I said I would let you, did you not understand.”

“I was just checking! Got it now!”

Felix gently took the face of the boy he liked in his hands, and kissed him once more.

\--------------

“I'm glad your class was canceled today.” Hyunjin nuzzed his nose on his neck. 

“Me too.” Felix added with a laugh. Hyunjin’s touch tickled him.

They had been lying like this for the most part of the morning. Felix had once again, fallen asleep on Hyunjin's bed.

It was even more occurring now that they were dating. 

Hyunjin placed a leg on top of his own and squeezed the arm he had around him. If he had thought he was clingy before, he was just realizing now that had been nothing. Hyunjin _really_ loved skinship. 

Felix laughed. “Jinnie, you're gonna break my ribs.”

“I'm sorry. I just love this.” He sighed with contentment. 

Felix placed his other arm around him and squeezed his boyfriend back until he groaned softly. “Me too.” 

“Do you want to have lunch together after our shift?” Hyunjin asked suddenly, big shiny eyes looking up at him.

 _Fuck, he’s so cute._ This thought also, had been way more recurrent, but he never got tired of it.

“Don't we always?” 

“I mean out. I'll invite you.”

“Are you asking me on a date?” 

“Yes?” He said it like a question.

He smiled down at him and gave him a little peck on the lips. “Sure!”

“What do you want to eat?” He asked while he rested his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder again.

“Hmmm, I've been craving burgers.” 

“Okay. Then we can go to your favorite place by the park.”

That place...

“Now that I think about it, in a way, that's where everything started.” 

Hyunjin moved a bit back to look at him again. “What do you mean? What started?” 

“Us,” Felix pulled him back to him, “when you asked me to sit on your table. That was the first we talked. Like really talked.” 

“Oh my God, you're right!” Hyunjin gasped. “You have no idea how much courage it took me to call your name.” 

“Why?” This was new for him.

“What do you mean why? You hated me!” He hit him in the arm playfully. “Honestly I thought you would ignore me or throw your drink at me. ” 

That was so ridiculous it made him let out a loud laugh. “What are you talking about?” 

“Seriously! I was really surprised when you accepted the offer. Even more when you started a conversation.” 

“Honestly, I was surprised with myself too.” Felix intertwined his fingers with Hyunjin’s as the other laid down beside him, face to face now. He looked at their hands, and how despite being so different in size — his weren’t small, it was just that Hyunjin’s were too big — they fitted perfectly together. “Well I'm glad you overcame your fear of me drenching you in iced tea, and called me.” 

Hyunjin giggled. “I'm glad too.” 

Leaning forward, he kissed Hyunjin again. Here, under the sun coming through the window, he really had that angel aura that he loved so much. He looked at him and wondered how could there have been a time where he disliked this beautiful, caring, sweet boy. How could he not want to wrap his arms around him, kiss that pretty mole under his eye and run his fingers through his silky dark hair every single day. 

He had told Changbin four months ago that he didn't love Hyunjin right then, but he could imagine loving him eventually. With everyday that passed, he realized how right he had been. 

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!!


End file.
